Bonus Chapter

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BONUS

You don't know what you did, did to me.
Your body lightweight, speaks to me.
I don't know what you did, did to me.
Your body lightweight, speaks to me.

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BONUS CHAPTER

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SHE DIDN'T KNOW how much she meant to me. It was the only reason she let this morning's incident get to her. Because she didn't know that it was me trying to prove to myself that I didnt love her.

But I did.

That was such a fucking weird thing for me to acknowledge. That I loved somebody and that somebody was her. She didn't know I loved her.

Hell, I didn't even know I loved her for the longest time. I denied it and lied to myself about it. I kept trying to convince myself that the reason I thought of her every second of the day was because I was horny.

I wasn't fucking horny every second minute. I loved her. It took me so long to realise, but now that I did, I couldn't stop saying it. That I loved somebody and it was her.

I wanted to scream it from the top of every roof, but for some fucking reason I didn't want her to know. And there I was, acting as if I didn't know why when I did. It was because I wanted her to love me back, but I knew she wouldn't.

Who would? Not after the way I've been treating her; both in the past and recently. I was trying to change my attitude for her, but even if I did, why would she love me? When my parents couldn't even love me, how could anyone else?

Truth was I knew Araceli could never develop deep feelings like that for me because we both knew she deserved better. And I also knew that it was only a matter of time before she got tired of my shit and left, but until then, I planned to bask in all the affection she allowed herself to give me because being in her arms was worth every penny in the world.

God, I sounded like a bitch. This is what love does, huh?

She ran her fingers through my hair absentmindedly, sending a shiver down my spine. I was starting to think she had some sort of obsession with my hair. Because of her I would leave it more curly more often.

In that moment, as I traced my thumb up and down the side of her waist under the shirt that I had given her, I realised that I owed this woman the world. What she had given me and taught me in the short time we had been together topped all the gifts I received on my birthdays combined. Not that I even had birthdays.

This wasn't some sappy shit either. Araceli found a way to make me feel human. Even when I felt alien in my surroundings. She brought my humanity back. She gave me love, affection. She cared.

I hadn't met anyone that cared about me like she did. Even when she tried to pretend she didn't, it was obvious she did. She was such a bad fucking liar, it was almost funny to watch.

As weird as it sounded, I kind of liked putting her in situations where she had to lie to me. It was entertaining watching her struggle to come up with something to say. Like she was buffering in real life.

She had gotten better at it over the years though and that was what I didn't like. Earlier this morning, she probably would've been able to fool me if it wasn't for the fact that I already knew the truth. She didn't think that my own guards would actually keep something from me, did she?

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