His Queen (18+)

Chapter XLII

THE SPITEFUL

It's a dark philosophy,
And it haunts her constantly.
She's a false alarm to me,
She's a false alarm.

***

CHAPTER XLII

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PABLO LOOKED UP from the magazine he had been browsing through at me as I finally made my way out of Eyra's office after our session had ended. Once I had reached him, he put the magazine down completely and stood up so I didn't have to look down at him.

“How did it go?” he asked as I began to make my way out of the clinic, knowing that he was following close behind me.

“It was okay,” I shrugged nonchalantly because it was okay. It hadn't fixed any of my problems, but it also hadn't made any of them worse and I was soon beginning to realise that any day I wasn't worse off than the last day was a good day. “She said that you should come to my next appointment,” I revealed, turning around before he could unlock the car to catch the look on his face.

He seemed surprised at first, his brows furrowing in confusion before he finally spoke up with a frown. “Would you be okay with that?” he asked, to which I shrugged again.

“I don't really care, Pablo. I just want to go home.”

His frown deepened at my indifference, but he held off from commenting on it and instead unlocked the car so I could get in. I tried to smile at him, but I had no doubt that it came out as more of a grimace instead before I slipped into my seat and he shut the door after me. I looked down at my hands as he rounded the car and got into the driver's seat before starting the car and driving down the road. We both sat in silence before he finally spoke, breaking it.

“I need to go to Guillermo's house first to pick up something. Is that okay with you?” he asked to which I just nodded because I didn't care but then he went on to give me a reason to care. “Celeste will be there.”

I pursed my lips at his warning, thinking over if I was mentally ready to see Celeste again before shrugging. Even if I wasn't okay with seeing her, where else was I supposed to go? There was nothing else for me to do at home and as much as I liked and appreciated Abigail, we just didn't have that connection together. I hadn't even seen Jorge since after our trip because I hadn't been bothered to step outside my room at all. Pablo was the only form of human contact I had when Mateo was with Daniel and as indifferent as I tried to be, human contact was something I couldn't be without. I wasn't sure just quite what I would do on my own.

Pablo didn't say anything else after that until we had reached our destination. It was clear that some days, he didn't even have the energy to try with me, yet he never gave up on me. I admired that quality about him but I also hated the fact that it seemed to be me that drained the life out of him. I couldn't even begin to fathom how spending every second of his day with someone like me affected him and Mateo. The realisation only made me want to disappear more. I wanted to try harder for him but I was doing the best I could and it still felt like I was getting nowhere. My 'best' amounted to absolutely nothing at all.

Pablo, unaware of my thoughts, parked the car in front of a large modern looking house - which oddly did seem very much like a place Celeste would live - before stepping out. He made to come over to my side and open the door for me, but before he could reach me, I was already out, slamming the door shut behind me. The property we were on was gated so he didn't bother locking his car as he made his way towards the front door with me following close behind him.