His Queen (18+)

Chapter XVIII

THE SILENCE

Everytime you dey tease me,
Say you better for leave me.
Make we no turn small thing,
Into bigger something.

***

CHAPTER XVIII

*****

PRIDE WAS ONE hell of a drug. The realisation had come a little too late, but I was thankful for it anyway. At least it gave me a reason for why I said the shit that I said, even when I didn't mean most of it.

I had gotten defensive and prideful, and while some of the things I said I genuinely did believe was right, Daniel had also been right as well and didn't deserve the way I spoke to him. He wasn't a good person, not in the eyes of the law and while he tried to remedy that with some of his actions, people still feared him and they were justified in fearing him. But he had always made it clear to me that he would never — could never lift a finger to hurt me and he had demonstrated it so many times. To me, he wasn't a bad person and I knew that.

I couldn't count on both my hands the amount of times I had pissed him off or done something completely stupid and every time I expected him to do something, every time he didn't. He never gave me a reason to be scared of him and I knew that. I watched him kill, torture, humiliate other people and I sat beside him comfortably (maybe a little bit disturbed) because I knew there would never be a day he would do the same to me.

Maybe it was the bare minimum. It was the bare minimum, but that wasn't what I was talking about. My expectations for him were low even though time and time again, he met a higher standard. That must've been someway insulting.

I guess I had just felt guilty and the way he spoke made me feel even more guilty, so I lashed out. I never thought I was that kind of a person, but apparently I was. Thankfully, I had enough sense to recognise my mistake and attempt to correct them.

By the time I had stepped out of the tub, the water had gone cold. I hadn't realised it until I noticed the way my body shivered in the cold air. I wasn't sure if the air was cold because of the AC or because it was cold weather, but that didn't really matter much. I wrapped the towel around my shivering body and unplugged the tub before making my way out of the bathroom.

Immediately, I set my eyes on Daniel who was lying in the middle of the bed with his eyes closed and his arms splayed out. A part of me considered the fact that he was asleep, but I knew better. This man hardly ever slept.

I made my way around the room, looking for something to wear to bed before settling in his shirt even though I knew I had no right to. I lacked shame though, so instead when I was as dressed as I needed to be, I made my way over to where he was lying down and knelt close to him.

“Daniel?”

“Hmm?”

Happy that he was still awake, I sucked up all my pride and began apologising. “I'm sorry for all I said in the bathroom,” I whispered, watching the way his face contorted at my words. His eyebrows furrowed and his lips pursed, but he didn't say anything, prompting me to continue. “I want you to know that I didn't mean it at all. At least, not most of it. I know you wouldn't ever hurt me. Even when the thing with Jorge happened, I knew you wouldn't hurt me. I don't know why I said all that... I guess I just wanted to justify keeping such a big secret from you. I think maybe deep down I knew you wouldn't hurt me if you found out, by I just felt so guilty, I couldn't bring myself to say it to you. And then when I found out you already knew, I felt even more guilty and kind of wanted to make you seem like the villain.”