Passion✔️ (Ongoing)

Chapter 4 (FLASHBACK)

Naglalakad ako sa hallway ng school. I'm shy kaya nakayuko lang ako while walking and being shot by those eyes staring at me.

I'm sad right now and my heart beats was so fast like a running horse. I felt like I'm crying, my heart is breaking into pieces as I remembered why I'm here in this place. I let my self moved forward but what the hell?! Bakit ganto? Parang gusto ko nalang magkulong sa kwarto ko at matulog nang matulog.

I'm here walking at the hallway way of Montala Saresmole School as a transferee. I repeat my grade 7 year, a repeater. Opo, yes po! Nagstop ako in the middle of my grade 7 year in Apolo Sinton, after 2nd grading. I've decided to stop even though its hard for me lalo na I'm a top student in my school before, mahirap din kase I'm not that type of person na huminto ng pag aaral. I never have the thought of that but not until I have no choice but to thought of it. My parents did not stop me because they care about me than my grades and such.

I'm scared of everything of what might happen to me inside of that school, I'm crying from time to time and not also eating. My mom is worried na why I'm suddenly became like this. I cannot tell them what's my problem because I'm not used to do that before.

Una pa lang sinabi ko na sa kanila na gusto kong mag transfer ng school but I can't give them enough reason why kaya hindi sila pumayag at baka hindi na daw pwede kase it's already 2nd grading. But still, everyday, I always force them. I'm being desperate af that time. They didn't know my reason and they did not ask me either.

Namuo ang galit at pighati sa puso ko. While facing my every day fear and biggest problem in school, I even did cutting class that I cannot imagined I did that. Gumagawa ng reasons para hindi pumasok and pretending having sick for that. Girl I'm grade conscious! Umuuwi ako na umiiyak at sa kanila binubuntong ang galet na nanaig sa puso ko. Parang ayoko na, hindi ko na kaya. I hate being lonely and now I'm feeling so hella lonely. No friends, have no shoulder to cry on and no everything, it sucks.

So, when they know why, pumunta sila sa school but after that, ganon parin ang nangyayari sa akin.

Umabot ako sa point na ayoko nang bumangon and then tell my mom I'm going to stop school just for this year, she let me btch! She let me! She said hindi pwedeng ganito nalang ako palagi kaya mas mabuting tumigil muna ako this year at paunahin yung mga btches. But I'm not happy of that thought, I'm fcking upset and super duper mad about not having a choice but to stop. Dudeee! It's a big humiliation for me and it will taint my name for sure.

My dad was disappointed of me, though he's not telling me directly, I can feel that he is. No just him but everyone. Pero wala nang mas disappointed sa akin kundi sarili ko. Kaya while I'm at my lowest and having anxiety all by myself, nakapag isip2 ako.

One thing for sure, I will never forget what she did, they did.

"Kung makatingin naman to sila sakin para akong kriminal," bulong ko sa sarile ko habang nakayuko.

Hindi pwede to eh! Wala akong kasalanan kaya hindi pwedeng yumuko ako at parang tangang takot. I let my self moved forward kaya I will make sure that it will be all worth it.

I held my face high and then confidently walked while smiling straightly in my way.

No one's knows me here so I'm free. I will start again and give my best in everything.

Paslowmo effect ang peg ko papasok sa room, it's the first day of class and medyo naninibago lang. Almost 10 months rin akong nagkulong sa bahay and now is my first day in school and first day of going outside seriously.

Wala pa ang adviser kaya medyo magulo and loob ng room. I belong to the top class but why the hell it looks like a worst class? Tsk! May nagbabatuhan, may nagsisigawan and may naglalandian. For pete sake! We're still grade 7! Kabataan raw ang pag asa ng bayan, poor Dr. Jose Rizal. Tignan mo nga naman mga kabataan, pero hindi ko naman nilalahat hah beke mey maeffend dyen.