A nightmare worth living

4 - The bonfire

I found myself wondering around the glade by myself and I was headed towards the forest of trees, ferns and flowers. It was beautiful. I could spend the rest of my days here by myself. I kept on walking further until I was in a small clearing. I sat down against one of the trees and let my thoughts wonder.

Why would anyone in their right mind put me in a place trapped with all these boys? Why am I the only girl? Maybe more girls will join me? Maybe it's not too bad here. Maybe I could turn this into my home. I don't like it here though. I don't like all the boys and they only like me because of my gender. I don't want to be here!

I took a deep breath trying to relax myself. I just needed a distraction. Something that would keep my mind from thinking these things. The only thing right now that could do that is picking grass so that's what I did. I tried to keep my mind clear but i kept thinking of that last thought.

I dont want to be here! It's horrible here. Why would any one want to be here? How do they survive?

SNAP

I turned my head to see who was there but I didnt see anyone. I stood up and grabbed a stick to protect myself from any possible danger that might be there.

"Who's there?!" I yelled

"Calm down, its just me" I recognised the British voice before I saw him. He walked out from behind a tree and I lowered the stick. "What are you doing out here? We got the bonfire going and it's all for you"

"Umm I don't know, it's just relaxing out here"

"If you enjoy hanging out with dead gladers then good for you but personally this place creeps me out"

"Newt?"

"Yeah"

"What do you mean by dead gladers?"

His face went pale like and he realised he wasn't supposed to say that. It just slipped out.

"umm well you see this place isn't all that good and people die here so keep in line and do what your told and you'll be fine" he started off unsure what to say but as he went on he grew more confident in his words and almost sounded like he was threatening me. "Now let's get movin', everyones waiting for you"

We had walked away from the quiet place and I noticed it was night. Guess the trees block the sky from veiw. As I walked closer to the fire I saw there was boys dancing, fighting, cheering, shouting and having a good time. I even noticed Alby wasn't being his serious self.

Newt ran ahead and I lost where he went in the crowd but I joined a crowd of my own. We was in a circle and Gally was in the middle shouting at people to join him. One boy walked into the circle and they stated wrestling and shoving eachother around whilst everyone was cheering. Some cheered on a boy called Sean who seemed fairly strong and some cheered on Gally. I remember Gally from the box so I cheered him on and eventually Gally won. This lead to everyone cheering for him.

"Enjoying yourself?". I jumped out of my skin when I heared Newts voice behind me. I turned to him and he had two drinks and one had less in it because he already started drinking.

"yeah it's not bad here". I lied. Seeing how aggressive the gladers can be scared me a little and I was only partaking so other gladers would leave me alone and not pitty me for being alone.

"Here". He passed me the full glass of clear liquid with a smile. "Try not to spit your first mouthful out". He'd laughed at his statement. What could be so bad about this drink? I took the glass from his soft hands and asked him what it is first. "It's Gally's special recipe"

I took a small sip and almost spat it out wich made him laugh more. In the end I did swallow it and it tasted weird but it also made me feel numbed. It felt like just for a small second everything was gone. I liked that feeling so to his surprise I drank more almost downing it.

"I like this drink" I told him, hoping to get more when I finish the small amount in the bottom on my glass.

"I can see that". He seemed slightly different aswell. I guess it numbed everyone who had it. There was quite a few people drinking what I was drinking but it wasn't enough for me. I needed that feeling go be stronger and last longer.

"Let's go grab some more". And with that I was off trying find some more but Newt guided me in the right direction. As soon as I knew where it was kept I didn't deny myself the pleasure of going back for more. The whole night I was dancing and cheering on fights with the occasional conversation with random gladers. They all seemed happy but the most I did was give a small smile.

I must be on my 6th maybe even 7th drink and I heard a loud deep voice shout "She's drunk!". I didn't know what it meant so I took it as a good thing. I didn't know what the time was and I barley rembered where I was. I loved this feeling.

I was currently dancing by the fire but I soon stopped. I looked directly into the fire, completely mesmerised, and started walking towards it. I slowly put my hand in it and discovered it was extremely hot. Next thing i saw that some of my skin had burned away. For some reason this fascinated me so I put more of my hand into the flames. It didn't hurt. The more skin that burned away the better I felt, it was as if a weight was being lifted of my shoulders.

Shouts where heard from all around but i couldnt understand what was being said. I felt a pair of strong arms wrapped around me pulling me away from the miraculous feeling and some one else supporting my burnt hand. From then I'd blacked out. I don't remember anything else from that night.

The next morning I woke up in a familiar building, I was in the med-jack hut. My hand was freezing and I soon saw that my hand has been heavily bandaged and kept in a bucket of ice and water. This confused for a while but memories of last night flooded into my head and I just smiled to myself. That was a good night.