sinners and saints

a nonexistent umbrella and a letter.

"i miss you more than anything."

the sound of writing was the only thing you could hear. your notebook sat in front of you, half of the pages covered with letters you decided weren't good enough. this wasn't a letter back to mikey, no, you had gone to his house to make up with him. it was for someone else. you groaned as yet another page was scribbled out, damnit. you practically threw your pencil as your phone rang, slapping your cheek before picking it up, not bothering to see who it was. "hello-"

"f/n! remember that guy? with the long brown hair, baji?!" ah, takemichi, he really was bad with greetings. "him? ye-" as usual, you were cut off. "it was him! him and kazutora hanemiya, they're the ones who killed mikey's brother! now they're part of valhalla- october thirty first! halloween! they're gonna kill mikey! you gotta help, f/n!" well damn, they wanted to kill both the sano brothers. harsh. "wait- hold on- someone-" he was no longer talking to you, but to someone else. you couldn't make out what they were saying, but oh well. after about a minute, you just hung up. not much later, there was a loud bang on your door.

once again, you groaned. it was takemichi. "hi, 'michi. what's u-" "we gotta go!" well damn. there was another boy with him, he was too beaten up for you to figure out who he was. no words were exchanged as you were dragged along. finally, you reached your destination, the sano family grave. mikey and draken were both there, mikey kneeling while draken held an umbrella over him. "so, you heard about my older brother." well, you hadn't really, but. "shinchiro was an awesome guy." the taller blonde stated, you could see his grip tighten on the umbrella. "yeah." mikey agreed, no surprise there. "takemichi. we know past incidents can't be undone. baji and kazutora... didn't mean for this to happen." oh. "past incidents can't be undone." was that why you were here? is that why you were suddenly a teenager again?

"yeah. it's too late to change what happened, i know that." mikey paused, standing up. "but deep down, i can't accept it." you understood that. after deliah passed, you couldn't stop reading her letter. "the bike that kazutora and baji were trying to steal, it was the one my brother rode." okay, so the brother-killers were also bike stealers, good to know. "it was supposed to be my birthday present. that cb250t... it's a memento from my brother." leading everyone's gaze to his bike, mikey smiled. "now it's my beloved ride. it's been two years since then. i've forgiven baji. but.. even if he didn't know, even if i can't change the past. i can't forgive kazutora for killing my brother." that much was understandable.

mikey's eyes were dark again.

"and i can't forgive baji for siding with him either! takemitchy. i told you to bring baji back, didn't i?" this you weren't aware of, you were definitely lost in this situation. plus, no one had given you an umbrella. "so, why's his vice captain here, but he isn't? what do you want to accomplish?" ahh, so that's who the bandaged boy was. chifuyu, that was his name. "you really wanna die that badly?" he wasn't talking to you, but yes. yes you did. mikey left before saying anything else. draken too, of course. chifuyu and takemichi had turned to leave too. "eh, f/n? you coming?" you blinked, staring at the grave. "no. sorry." you turned back, running back in the direction of your house.

you had a letter to write.
_______________________________________________

mikey wasn't sure how he found himself at your house. not inside, no, just staring at the door. draken had instucted him to go on a ride and think about what to do with the upcoming battle. to think about what shinchiro would do. so why was he here? as your door swung open, mikey considered speeding away. but he stayed. he always stayed. "mikey? what are you doing here?"...how long had he been staring at your house? you quickly shoved the letter in your hand into your pocket, not really wanting to be questioned about it. "do you.. wanna go on a ride with me?" he pat the back of the seat on his bike, he wasn't smiling. that almost made you glad, you could tell he wasn't happy. maybe he was finally figuring out that he was allowed to frown when he was upset.

he'd probably be frowning all the time, then. but you'd change that. you had to.

"yeah, sure." you smiled, walking over. at you sat down, you gently grabbed his shoulders, wanting to hold onto something. before you could say anything else, both of you were already speeding down the street. the ride was quiet, you weren't really sure what to say. it was only about ten minutes before you stopped on a bridge, mikey staring at the water next to you. deciding to take intiative, you hopped off the bike, pulling yourself to sit on the railing of the bridge. maybe it was dangerous, but oh well. what a way to go, y'know? mikey didn't say anything, instead he joined you. "you okay?" there was no reason to whisper, but that's what you were doing.

" 'm fine." yeah, that was convincing. "c'mon, be honest. if you don't talk about it, all your worries will totally over throw you. either talk or i'll push you off this bridge." part of you was worried he'd be okay with that. "your bossy, n/n." he sighed, lifting his head to stare at the sky instead of the water. "i don't get it, n/n. i can't understand it. he's not here anymore, and that's wrong. i'm so tired of everything being wrong. he should be here. i just can't understand it." ah, poor boy. you wondered how many people must've told him 'everything happens for a reason.' that's one of the most agitating thing you could be told. "he can't be gone, n/n. i can't- i can't do this alone."

oh. so many people following him, so many people caring about him. yet he was still alone. "you aren't alone." again, you were whispering. "when i was little, my grandfather died. and there was this old lady, i don't even know who she was, but she told me 'i've lost everyone i ever loved. but i'm okay, because i know they would want me to be.' and at the time i was like 'please stop talking to me you're so old' but i understand it now. i like to think that when you lose someone you love, they join the stars. it's totally cheesy, but the stars are always there, even when you can't see them, even when you think they're gone." this whole star talk came on for a reason. "um, actually, i wasn't going to give you this, but i think. i think that i should, so."

mikey was handed a letter.