sinners and saints

a much needed apology and sleeping pills.

"i'll never love again, i'm so in love with you."

the valhalla members panicked at their leaders defeat, they all promptly ran away screaming. how courageous! mikey stood in front of a kneeling kazutora. "people can betray anyone, mikey, so let's settle this. will you die? or will i?" apparently the blonde felt no need to answer, punching kazutora down to the floor again. "if all you can do is destroy the things i care about.. then i'll destroy you. here and now." this seemed like a good time for you to make your way down to the floor. mikey kicked him so he was lying down. then mikey straddled him, pinning him to the floor. "if all you can do is destroy, then i'll destroy you." well now he was just repeating himself. "mikey.." what a nice surprise, baji wasn't dead yet! he hacked up some more blood before calling out again for mikey, this time louder. the blonde seemes surprised to see that he was okay. "you got mad, jus' for me? thanks, man! 'm not.. gonna die. this wound ain't gonna kill me!" baji stopped in front of the two fighters. "so don't worry, kazutora."

and then he pulled out a knife.

and then he stabbed himself.

"you aren't gonna' be the one to kill me!" chifuyu cried out for him, but it was too late for that. kazutora and mikey were both standing now. "you.. are going to join him, mikey." mikey wasn't bothered by the threat. "shut up. i'll beat you to death." now that you didn't doubt. the conversation chifuyu, takemichi, and baji were having completely slipped your mind, you hadn't bothered to listen. you were trying to figure out what you should do. though, chifuyu's sudden cry clarified that baji had passed. maybe that set mikey off, as he once again started punching kazutora, this time while chanting "i'll kill you". takemichi jumped in between them though, yelling at them to stop. "move, or i'll kill you too." you couldn't help but think mikey wasn't lying. "you have to stop this!" no one bothered to hear takemichi out, instead mikey just threw him to the floor. "mikey, quit! this isn't-" you moved towards him, placing your hand on his shoulder. but his arm swung back, throwing you to the floor.

oh.

you felt like crying. it's not that he hurt you, it's the he tried to. "baji didn't want this!" mikey kicked him in the stomach. "don't talk about baji." as takemichi lied on the floor, he panted. "talk about baji..? baji is dead, goddamnit!" as takemichi threw his jacket off, a small trinket fell out. "don't you understand what he died for? it was for you and toman! kazutora didn't kill baji, baji chose to kill himself for you guys! he didn't want kazutora to feel guilty, because he wanted you guys to make up! he died because he loved you guys!" mikey bent to the ground, picking up the charm. "where did you get this?" takemichi was sniffling. "i found it at the shrine." draken and mitsuya seemed to recognize it. "baji.. kept this the whole time? the charm.. from when we first formed our gang. i didn't create toman. baji did. 'if one of us gets hurt, we all protect them. i want a gang that's one for all, and all for one.'" mikey, mitsuya, draken, and kazutora were all crying. as mikey apologized to baji's corpse, police sirens started going off.

"i'm staying with baji. you guys go on. this is my fault, i'm going to take responsibility." mikey accepted that. "toman's leaving!" draken called out, you slowly stood up, brushing yourself off. "mikey. i won't ask you to forgive me. i'll live my whole life with shinchiro and baji's death on my shoulders." kazutora bowed, but mikey didn't turn around.

everyone just left.
_______________________________________________

you groaned as you flipped your pillow around the thirtieth time today. after the battle, or 'bloody halloween' you just lied in bed. you had barely eaten anything, you just lied there. you weren't upset, or maybe you were, it was hard to tell what you were feeling. no matter what unhealthy amount of sleeping pills you took, you couldn't sleep. you were only making yourself painfully tired with no hope of actually sleeping. placing your palms over your eyes, you sighed. your head was so full that it felt empty.

god, you hated that feeling.

so here you here, sobbing into your hands with no known reason. "n/n! you wouldn't answer, but your door was unlocked! emma wanted to-" part of you wanted to swing upwards, wipe your eyes and act like nothing happened. but instead, you just sobbed harder. "f/n!" you heard emma call out to you before you were engulfed in a hug. mikey just stared.

"yeah, after this we're going to see n/n." draken nodded. "you going to apologize?" mikey blinked, confused, leading draken to continue. "for when you shoved her at the fight? while you were kickin' takemichi?" emma huffed, slapping mikey's arm. "you did what?" mikey was just as confused as her. "that.. that was n/n?"

"are you crying because of mikey? i'll beat him up for you!" god, if you were crying because of him, mikey would beat himself up. you shook your head, grabbing at emma for dear life. you hated this, but god did you need a hug. you shook your head, it wasn't mikey. even when you said that, mikey still felt terrible. all of the times you were there for him, and he couldn't even be there for you. instead, he could just watch as his sister hugged you. after a few minutes, you calmed down, pulling away from emma as you wiped your face. "takemichi said you hadn't been answering anyone for days! how long have you been lying in bed?"

you had a problem of isolating yourself when you were sad, even though you couldn't function on your own. "um, maybe like, a week or two?" she gasped, flicking your head. "that's won't work! i'm going to make you something to eat, and then you're coming to hang out with me and mikey!" you smiled, gently shaking your head. " 'm fine, emma, thanks though. it's your birthday today, right? don't waste your time cookin' for me or something. go have fun." she wagged her finger in your face before walking out. "i'm the birthday girl and i'll do what i want!" well damn, okay. after she left, mikey walked over, sitting next to you. you groaned, lying back down. " 'm sorry." his hand gripped yours, it was like he thought you were dying or something. "i told you it wasn't your fault. plus, i'm perfectly fine." he sighed, lying down next to you. both of you were just lying there, staring at the ceiling. "you've been sitting in bed for like, thirteen days. what part of that is fine? you always complain i don't open up to people, you're one to talk!"

okay, he had a point. you didn't say anything, just smiled. mikey sighed, it seems like he'd have to be the one to talk. "i'm selfish, n/n." no response. "i don't deserve you. you do so much for me and it's not like i can return the favor. why do you stay? someday, i'm going to make you hate me. so why are you wasting your time?" no response. he turned his head towards you, but your eyes weren't even open. "wha- did you fall alseep while i was in the middle of talking to you?!" he sat up, shaking you. "get up! we weren't done talkingggggg!" he shook you again, hard this time. no response. "..n/n? hey, get up! i won't make you talk to me, okay? wake up, stop- f/n, please."

you weren't waking up.