Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall

(No name yet)

(I have been working on this for a while, no bad comments please and its not even close to being finished  -jess)

The doctor put his hand on her arm and said gently, “You or the baby will survive. Not both. I’m sorry.” I stared up at him tears watering up in my eyes, If I lived I couldn't bare the pain and if he lives no one will be there..he won’t know me and he’ll go to a foster home, I thought about the kids on the television going mad because they’re parents weren’t there, harming themselves or others..and being put in a mental  institution I breathed hard, I couldn't make a decision for him, even though I didn’t think it was the best it was what he need at least, a chance, I nodded slowly “I pick him.” a few minutes later the c section began and once he was out all I heard was my heart scanner beeping and the doctor calling to me but it was faint “Evangeline?” after a few seconds the monitor went dead.

                                        ******* 16 years later ********

I woke on the Orphanage floor, waking up again by little children crying I bitterly wanted to yell at them to stop but I didn’t have the heart they were just like me, Afraid and Alone. I didn’t want to push more on them day after day when the ladies here would never show any sympathy or kindness towards anyone. I sat up wincing from the pain in my back, it had been the fourth time in a row I had fallen off my cot in the middle of the night, all the nights here hurt but not as bad as my past, after my mom died the doctor took me home and on my ninth birthday he died in a car crash so I had spent the last 7 years here at the Orphanage.I stood up making my bed and deforming it and shoving it into my assigned closet, everyone had one at the Orphanage, but if you had a brother or sister with you, you had to share yours with them in my closet was only my bed and a blanket, No pictures, No personal belongings. I grabbed a towel and walked outside there was roofing extended to cover the showers one person sat and cleaned clothing while people took showers in an exposed area, no one really cared anymore after I had stripped down I set my clothes in the pile and over to my shower no one used it except me, I stepped into the water and once in a few times it was warm water this was one of those times every time I step into the hot water I close my eyes and pretend I’m still with Steve (The doctor) and his wife Martha, I grabbed the soap and washed my self then rinsing when I turned off the water the images were gone, I was still stuck here. I glanced to the temperature of the siding 34o, I was immuned to the cold by now but I could still see my breath.