Depressing Poems

I got issues of wanting to end it

Lately everything's been a dump idk if it's just me or the world all around me. I don't know how to say how I'm feeling if I'm alright or if I'm not ok, but it seems like everything just comes out the wrong way when I want to say I'm not ok instead I say never been better such a lie that was...it has always been a lie. I can't live like this, I just can't.. all the pain I feel everyday all the pain never goes away and I can't help but say I'm doing great when really I have issues with my mind, my heart, my mental stability, my home and more..
I think about what if I just do it already...
What is wrong with me? Why won't it come out the way I want it to? I can't help but always watch and wonder as I wait telling myself the pain will all go away as I wait and wait just waiting there for more than what feels like decades as my body starts to hurt more it feels like a cut to the throat I'm done with everything I just wanna end it...
I wanna end all of this shit no more heart hurting days no more of people telling me others are using me I'm so sick and tired of it all...so as I stand there my last breath I take as I whisper to the one I love most good bye my love I have and always will love you and be in your heart...as I let myself fall off the ledge of the building of my school I can't help but cry and smile all at the same time.