Under The Lake

"You Shouldnt Be Here"

Two years ago I was fed the dirty meal of life, served on a black dish. My wife died in the Missouri lake, she jumped from the dock in the dark unknown water, and never came back up. I dove in after her when she never rose to the surface, I never found her body. The lake had to be endless, I couldn't even see the bottom. It was green and muddy, and smelled of mold and urine. I come to this lake every morning and talk to my wife. The sun rose sharply at 7:43 this morning, it was late. I opened my curtains and felt the crisp chill down my spine. After drowning (ironically) in a cup of coffee, I slid into a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt and walked to the lake, it was about thirty minutes from my house, that Nicole lived in with me. I looked out over the horizon that was even with the Suns warm greeting.

"Hi Nicole, Ive missed you. Is it cold down there?" I knew she wouldn't answer, but someone did.

"She can't here you" I heard from behind me, a young looking girl stood behind me in a tight pair of jeans and a hoodie.

"Who are you?" I asked, staring into her crystal blue eyes that glistened along the water as she met me by the edge.

"Julia, I live up the same street as you and every morning I see you leave your house and walk somewhere at the same time every day, so I wanted to know where you were going. Who's Nicole?"

"My wife, she died in this lake. Her body was never found. Every morning since she died two years ago I come and talk to her. You shouldn't have followed me" I said sharply, slightly annoyed with her nosiness.

"I just wanted-"

"It doesn't matter. Go" I ordered, feeling my anger rising. As I heard her walking away I looked back to Nicole.

"Are you still down there? Did you ever come back up? I need to know why you jumped in Nic, why did you leave me?" I felt tears rising and then crashing past my eye lids, falling down my cheeks. "Answer me dammit!" I couldn't take the frustration anymore. I laid on the wooden platform resting above the water and cried for a while, until the sky was completely lit and the day was officially new. After going back home I seen Julia sitting on her step, three houses down from mine. I never noticed her before, why? Why would she want to follow me to talk to my wife? Why would she care? I walked back in my house ignoring her as she stared at me begging for answers, and got ready for work. I worked at a car dealership, not very high end. I always imagined myself working at a publishing office, and Nicole was the journalist there. We had an amazing life together, we were married for five years, and together for ten. She took up most of my adult and teenage life, I was so in love with her blonde hair and gray eyes. How could I not love them? She took care of me, kept me on my feet and challenged me. She loved me like no one ever has and I loved her like I never loved anything before. When we married, I promised her Id never let her hurt, but something had to be hurting inside her. Why would she jump into a lake? Was it for fun? Or was she suicidal? I need answers, I feel guilt every day wondering if I was a bad husband, did I cause her to jump, did I make her unhappy? I couldn't focus in work, I haven't focused on anything since she died. She was my life, and when she lost her life I lost mine.