Kellic One-Shots

I Know It's Hard

There is a mild trigger warning for this part, since I wasn't too entirely sure about how others would see it as, but I will issue another true one when it is necessary! Stay safe. x

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I Know It's Hard, But Who Are You To Fall Apart On Me?
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A single droplet pelted the tile floor. Then another. Then another. I was a barren desert that had gone so long without rain and was now receiving a downpour. I was a cloud, repopulating the once dry ocean with fresh supply. I was the first bolt of lighting before the thunder crashed and the wind blew the trees hard enough to make their leaves fly askew.

My name is Kellin Quinn. And I was crying.

Now, my cheek reunited with the ice rink that was my bathroom floor. The tears I was shedding gathered around me, and almost in a comforting way, it felt like they wanted to hug me. Sounds crazy, I know, but it was the only sense of comfort and warmth I could conjure up at the moment.

I lay there, crying, wishing right then and there that my tears could somehow drown me, flushing me into another world where sadness and worthlessness of people didn't exist, where society didn't have fucked-up views of how teenagers should and shouldn't be. Where being yourself wasn't a rarity and was seen as an achievement rather than a label.

But, sadly, that didn't exist. So I guess I'd have to leave this one.

TRIGGER WARNING BEGINSSSS... NOW. I LOVE YOU. PLEASE SEE MY IMPORTANT MESSAGE I RELEASED PREVIOUSLY IF YOU FEEL YOU CANNOT READ THIS. I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHEN THE WARNING IS OVER AND IT WILL BE IN ALL CAPS LIKE THIS SO LOOK OUT FOR THAT! <3

I pushed myself off the floor slowly, my arms shaking slightly as I was weak at the moment. I ran my hands over my shirt, smoothing it out, then made my way to the sink. I almost absentmindedly glanced at my reflection before realizing that is this was really it, and I wouldn't want that to be the last thing I saw myself as. I played the 'avoid my eyes' game with myself, splashing cold water on my already wet face. I was still hiccuping intensely from my crying, an annoying trait that was passed down to me without my blessing. I dried my face and glanced up, almost catching my face in the mirror once more. This time, I pushed my dark hair so it blacked out the upper half of my sight, preventing me from witnessing the mess that I was right now.

I placed myself on the edge of my bathtub for a second, running my hands through my hair. I was going to do this. I had to. I grabbed the keys to my car, looked around one last time, and headed out to never come back.

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I arrived at the train tracks. It had the only place where I could almost discreetly park my car. It has a few shops around the area, but at this time of night, who would even be out here? They'd have to be crazy to. Haha, get it? Because I'm crazy? No? Well this is awkward. I AM TALKING TO MYSELF.

I knew exactly what time it would happen. 10:52pm. I know this because every night for the past seventeen years of my life I've heard this exact train pass at the same time. My watch read 10:50. I stepped forward.

A few stray tears escaped my eye. Oh god, not this again.

10:51, it read now.

I smiled. The fact that I did that was twisted, almost sadistic, yet I couldn't contain it. My face was carved with a full-on grin now as my ears were filled with the sound of crickets chirping and the distant noise of a train whistle. I stood there; there was no backing out now. Not that I wanted to, anyway.

I felt the headlights beaming on my skin and I stuck my ground. I waited for the impact, closing my eyes with pleasure. But then, something happened.

Almost as if in slow motion, I felt a HARD shove centered on my left shoulder. I felt myself flying, and then landing. Right after that I felt something land on top of me. I lay there for a few seconds, stunned, before re-opening my eyes to see a somewhat familiar face staring down at me with wide eyes. I heard the train whizz past.