Loud Silence (A depression story)

Chapter Two

        Everything has a beginning point, and for me, it all began when I was sixteen. I was in my sophomore year of high school, top of my class, and I remember the exact day, because it was the day that lit the fuse that would ultimately lead me to my end.

        It was October eleventh. It wasn't rainy or horrible like your usual cliche sob story, rather it was a beautiful day. The only downside being the cold winds, a sure sign of a bitter winter soon to arrive.

        I had woken up, ate breakfast in silence with my mother-father already having left- and then my mother started going on about how my math grade dropped down to a B+ rather than the A it had been at a month before.

        "I'll fix it," I mumbled.

        "You better. We didn't raise an imbecile," She said, not even bothering to look up from her phone.

        I cleared my dishes and began walking towards the front door, "You didn't raise me at all."

        Just as I'm out the door, a voice calls out to me and it brings out a happier side of me that not many really truly ever see. I turn to see my twin brother Skyy stepping outside, a small smile aimed at me.

        In a world where I felt like I was lost, just floating around with no purpose, my brother grounded me and kept me sane. His presence could light up a room, and to this day I don't know how he did it, because he was indeed a very, deeply sad person.

        While I complained of always being under the spotlight, being held to high standards and treated like a show dog. My brother was always ignored by our parents. Hidden from the media. Forgotten about more often than not. Deemed the failure twin of the St.Clair brothers.

        But, that didn't change how I felt about him. He was my best friend, my brother, the only one who loved the real me. We could read each other like books. Or at least that's what I thought.

        That morning, I remember how harshly we contrasted. My dark brown hair was neatly styled and I wore dark wash jeans with a white shirt and a black jacket from my mother's clothing line. My brother on the other hand. His hair freshly bleached white, looking rather pretty against the softly tanned complexion we shared. His white jeans were torn and he wore a sky blue long sleeve with it with a dark pink scarf around his neck. He looked flamboyant as ever and it made me happy.

        "Looking fab as ever, brother," I said, earning a little smirk from my twin.

        "Looking sleek and posh as ever, brother," he returned.

        I rolled my eyes and got in the back seat of our personal driver's car. "Stop at starbuck's first Matthew."

        The rest of the day went like it always did. I was greeted by my swim team friends; Jessie and Brent. Just before the bell rang, my girlfriend of the week, Alicia, showed up to kiss me and flirt with my friends, because that's just the wonderful kind of girlfriend she was. I was at the point of not giving a fuck anymore. If she cheated I'd just find someone else.

        As father would say "You should always have a woman on your arm, it makes you look sociable and wanted."

        I attended English, and advanced maths in the morning and everything was the same. Irritating and pointless, but the same. It was that afternoon, ten minutes into the lunch hour when things began to become out of the ordinary.

        I sat with the swim team and all their girlfriend's at lunch, despite how badly I wished to be by my brother's side. Appearances had to be kept in tact and when I was in public, I was expected to avoid Skyy, or risk sullying the St.Clair name further. Not that I cared much, but my father could be a frightening man when he was angry. More so when he was intoxicated.