Brütal • Mötley Crüe •

Fourteen • Female Supremacy

Warnings: Language, Heavy Drug Use, References to Past Violence

September 18th, 1982
Part One

Halston never had any confusion concerning where her place in the world was.

There were never any existential quandaries over her purpose, no transformative epiphanies or great moments of clarity showing her which path she was destined to take.

She never had any aspirations, never had any big ambitions about what she wanted to be or where she wanted to go when she finally crossed that sacred threshold into adulthood.

The question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?," was a discriminatory one directed to the kids that were awarded the privilege of dreaming, not the ones that already had jobs.

Dreams were for the kids that lived in normal houses with their own rooms; not the kids that lived in rundown trailers and slept four to a bed that was only manufactured to sleep one.

Dreams were for the kids that had thick sandwiches and full-sized bags of chips with sweet messages from their moms written on napkins and hidden in their lunchboxes; not the kids that brought saltines and butter because that's all that was left in the pantry that morning.

Dreams were for the kids that got to go to school every day without a care in the world then had the audacity to complain and whine about it after; not the kids that had to be absent twice a week because their father was off on another bender and if their younger siblings were found home alone just one more time, it was off to foster care they all went.

Dreams were for the kids that didn't have to stretch three dollars to cover a week's worth of groceries or, better yet, the kids that didn't even have to worry about groceries in the first place.

Dreams weren't necessarily contingent on money, however. Barry Hayden White had periods of great wealth after he started his descent into the drug market.

Dirty? Absolutely, but great nonetheless.

No; dreams were contingent on unconditional love, which he never dispensed even an ounce of.

Barry Hayden White did nothing, exerted no energy into anything whatsoever, unless he would be rewarded with something of twice the value.

Love was always purely conditional.

Halston never once entertained the concept of dreaming.

It was made abundantly clear from a very young age that the single purpose of her existence was to follow orders.

She had the misfortune of being born without a dick in between her legs and that meant she was automatically downgraded to the lowest ring on the proverbial food chain.

She was a waitress, a maid, a permanent channel changer, an all around go getter and an alibi whenever her father said the word and the saddest part about it was that she never even questioned it.

She was raised to do as she was told and taught that she never had a choice but, and she followed every order, big or small, without so much as a heavy breath.

She was ordered into the multi-faceted role of mom after her own got shipped to prison and she was ordered to continue in that role while more children- that she had no part or say in making- kept adding to her brood because it was inevitable that the biological mothers wouldn't stick around.

She couldn't blame the women for leaving her father, she never understood what was so attractive about him in the first place, but she could blame them endlessly for deserting their innocent children.