House of Scarlet Fury

Refton Mor University

He didn't even look up at me when I walked into his office. He sat there typing on his computer furiously as I stood in front of him. I stepped closer to the desk and placed the envelope I held onto so tightly earlier in front of him. He paused briefly, before picking up the envelope.

He flipped it around in his hand before looking at me. There was nothing close to affection in his eyes as he stared.

"And what is this exactly?" He asked indifferently.

"My acceptance letter for Refton," I answered.

"Well, that can't be all that you came in here for."

"Oh, well, I was wondering if you could find me housing near the University" looking down at the floor and shifting uncomfortably.

He tossed the envelope to the edge of his desk and sat back in his chair. I could feel him give me a once over and then came a sigh. Like I was some inconvenience that he had to deal with.

After a while of silence, he leaned forward and put his chin on his hands saying: "Sure, I'll find you something"

My head shot up from his agreement, I thought it would take a lot more convincing than this. But as I looked at him, I saw the cold expression in his eyes. A chill went through my spine as I realized he meant that he'd let my brother take care of it.

"Uh, yes thank you.. Father"

In response, his eyes twitched in annoyance, and he lowered his head back to his work and waved me off. I nodded to myself, grabbed the envelope, and made my way out of his office.

It's been so many years and his attitude towards me has never changed. Why does it still hurt so much?

The thought made me smile tensely and shake my head. And as I gripped the envelope closer the small smile turned into a genuine one, which rarely appeared on my face.

I'm leaving. Oh my god, I'm finally leaving.

I wiped at my eyes as tears threatened to fall uncontrollably. The sensation of the crushing weight being lifted off of my body felt like pure bliss. But of course, this high couldn't last for very long. My face went stony when I saw my brother turn the corner of the hallway. He brushed past me not even looking my way.

As he passed behind me, a pointed "tsk" came from behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see him brushing the arm that barely grazed mine.

Prick.

As I reached the door to my room, I opened it slowly and closed it quietly, trying to make as least noise as possible. As I closed it, I leaned forward and put my head on the door and took a few breaths. I sat there for a few moments before pushing myself off the door and opening my eyes again. I turned around and looked at the empty room that I'd slept in for the last nine years. The dreary room had barely anything in it; was that my decision or theirs? Honestly, I couldn't remember, and it's been far too long to dwell on things like that.

I sat down in the center of my bed with my back flush against the wall. I sat there for a moment motionless before pulling my knees into my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I put my head in my arms and just breathed, feeling the air around me, hearing the soft whistle of the wind against my window. Everything seemed so peaceful, and that's when I finally felt the overwhelming weight on my shoulders crash. I choked out a sob and continued to silently cry as I worked out the decision I just made and where I'm going to go to from here. It had been such a long time since I let myself cry like this, and it felt like I had opened the flood gates, and it just kept pouring out. I laughed as I cried, and the entire world outside this dreary little room disappeared. I could barely understand why I was crying anymore; I just was. Determined to be slightly more productive than a sobbing mess, I got up and started packing up the little stuff that I had. I grabbed and folded my clothes as tears still streamed down my face. To anyone else, it would look like I was devasted after being kicked out, but my reason was far more complex than that and maybe I was the only one in the entire world who would know that. I mourned the life and childhood I never had, the feelings of loneliness and inferiority, and the little girl that still hoped her father would suddenly love her.