tying up loose ends ☆ a jack harlow fanfiction

february 2021

Beth opened her eyes groggily to the sound of a repeated banging on the front door and Lucy barking.

"What the fuck?," she mumbled, rolling over to grab her phone and check the time. 

It was 2:38 in the morning, and she had nine missed calls from Jack, despite talking with him yesterday. Christian had been out of town for a friend's bachelor party for the past two days, so Beth had the townhouse to herself. She couldn't imagine who could be so desperate to get in in the middle of the night, not to mention the snowstorm outside. After reaching for her glasses, Beth dialed 911 on her phone but didn't press call. She tiptoed across the cold hardwood floors to the front door and looked through the peephole to reveal Jack, pacing anxiously on the front porch, rubbing his freezing hands together. Beth was even more confused now, and sure she must be dreaming. Regardless, she pet Lucy to calm her down and opened the door.

"Jack what're you doing here?"

As he stepped out of the snow and into the house's entryway, Beth saw that he was crying. Her mind went to the worst. She had never seen him cry, not even when she broke up with him. Something must have happened to his family, or something happened to her family and he knew before she did because he was staying in Louisville.

"I'm so sorry," he said in a voice barely louder than a whisper, shaking his head.

Beth removed the jacket from his shoulders and grabbed his hands in hers.

"Jack, I need you to calm down. What happened?"

His breathing was labored, and he struggled to get words out.

"I um...I've been hanging out with Vanessa and earlier today we were talking about you and us and..."

He broke down, covering his face with his hands so she wouldn't see him cry. As soon as Beth heard Vanessa's name, she knew exactly what she had told him.

"Oh Jack..."

She opened her arms and he collapsed into them, resting his head on her shoulder and allowing his tears to fall onto her.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you thought that was your only option and that you couldn't tell me."

"Jack, we can talk about this once you sober up."

Jack removed himself from the hug to reveal angry eyes.

"You think I'm fucking drunk?! I'm not drunk Beth. I haven't drank all year. Is it not okay for me to be sober and still upset about the fact that you aborted our baby?!"

"It's really late..."

"Trust me, I know. I caught the first flight here as soon as Vanessa told me."

"Can we talk about this tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?! After you've been keeping this from me for almost five years you want to put it off again until tomorrow?!"

"Yes. Please, go lay down in the guest room. I'll get up and make us breakfast in the morning and we can talk once we've both had some sleep and time to relax."

Jack scoffed and wiped his tears.

"Sure Beth. I flew here but sure, we can talk in the morning." 

He shook his head and walked into the guest room, slamming the door behind him. Beth stood there in disbelief. Since she was 18, she had kept her secret safe from everyone in her life, but now Jack knew. She had had time to heal, but by not telling Jack, she hadn't given him that opportunity. So now, years after they broke up, he was taken back to an experience that happened when they were both totally different people than they are today. Beth sighed and returned to the bedroom with Lucy at her heels. She was unable to get settled and back to sleep, because she could hear Jack's loud sobs from the other side of the house. After ten minutes of listening to him cry, Beth decided it was probably best to go console him. She got back up and knocked on the guest room door. The aggressive sobs quickly stopped, as if Jack was embarrassed that Beth had heard him.

"Jack? Can I come in?"

His response wasn't even a word, but a simple "mhm."

Beth's heart broke at the sight in front of her when she opened the door. The hood of Jack's hoodie was up and he had the white comforter pulled tightly around his body. He looked small and defenseless, and he looked at her in a way he never had before, like he was disappointed in her. She sat on the end of the bed, trying to give him his space.

"Our kid would be about to be four..."

"You know we couldn't really have had a kid."

"Why not? I loved you. I still love you, and you loved me. At least I think you did."

"Of course I loved you Jack, but I did what I had to. If we had a baby, you would've never been as famous as you are now, and you would have resented me for it."

"No I wouldn't. You could've at least told me."

"I knew if I told you, you would want me to keep it."

"Yes, yes I would. We could've made it work. Me, you, and the baby. We could've been a family."

She knew he meant it, but she also knew it never would have worked.

"You know we weren't meant to be together. Things would have been even worse if we brought a baby into it. Our lives would've been so much different. We never would have left Louisville. You wouldn't be a famous rapper. I wouldn't be about to get engaged to Christian."

Jack went quiet for a second.

"Christian's gonna propose?"

"I think so, we went ring shopping recently."

"No, no, Beth you can't," he grabbed her hands and looked at her with desperate eyes. "You can't marry him."

She suddenly felt very confused.

"I thought you were happy for me."

"I was, I am, but you're not supposed to end up with him. You're supposed to end up with me."

Beth couldn't help but feel his sadness. She was ready to marry Christian, but what she had with Jack would always mean something to her and she knew that as soon as she got married, any chance of reconciliation with Jack would be gone. Still, she couldn't express these feelings to him.

"I thought you were over me."

"I am, but no one out there gets me like you Beth. I always thought one day we would make it back to each other, and to know you could have had my baby...I want that with you. I want a family with you."

"Jack you're not ready to settle down. You may never be ready to settle down."

"With you, I'd be ready."

"You're just saying that because you found out about the abortion. I know it's hard Jack; I struggled with it for years."

"And I could've struggled with you if you had let me. I still can."

"This isn't the time to talk about this; I know you're emotional."

"I've always felt this way and I don't think that will change, but I guess we can talk about this later."

"Well Christian's gonna be back tomorrow..."

"Fine, I'll leave in the morning. Will you just stay with me while I sleep please?"

"I shouldn't..."

"I'm not gonna try anything. I just really need you. Finding out it just...it took me back to being 18 and it's been a really hard day. I miss who we were. I need you tonight Beth."

She didn't know what to say, so instead, she just pulled back the comforter and laid under it, next to him. He rolled over, innocently wrapping an arm around her waist and placing his head on her chest. She instinctually played with his hair as he stabilized his breathing and closed his eyes.

"I love you Beth. I've always loved you, and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that I'm supposed to be with you. I should've fought for you when I still had the chance."

Beth chose to say nothing, pretending she had drifted back to sleep.