One shot (Sarah Paulson Character)

Leave- Billie Dean Howard

I pack the last of your things in the box that is on the bed. She had forgotten a few things when she packed the essentials and stormed out a few days ago.

A small tear ran down my cheek as I looked at the picture of the two of us that was in my hand and I wanted to wrap up.

I had no more strength and no more tears to shed for her. The last few days I cried most of the time, trying to throw myself into my work on the side to distract myself from the pain that I felt deep in my heart.

But that didn't help.

I also didn't understand why she left me that day.
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When I opened the door to my apartment, I called Billie to let her know that I was back. But she didn't answer me. I was worried that something had happened and I went through the apartment to look for it, but without success. She was nowhere to be seen. I was confused and sat down on my / our bed and looked around the bedroom. I noticed the half-open cupboard and went to him, opened the left door that belonged to Billie and Sarah saw that she kept most of her dead dead she had here.

i swallowed hard and feel my heart sink and my pulse was faster than before. Panic took hold of me when I looked at the empty side of the closet, I didn't know what to do now. I stood there and couldn't move. Tried at that moment to sort my thoughts and find out what happened.

I turned around and saw a small blue note lying on the bedside table that I didn't notice before.

I walked over slowly and took the letter in my hand. I did not open it immediately but looked at it.

I turned it over and on the front it said 'for y/n' in Billie's handwriting. Maybe it wasn't that bad and she just had to leave for her job. or she told me that she is gone today and I just forgot about it.

I hoped so but I knew it wasn't. Billie would have reminded me this morning that she was gone or sent me a message, but she didn't.

The thought that I had just forgotten it was nice and I regretted it if I really believed in it.

I took a deep breath and took the little note out of the blue envelope and unfolded it.

As soon as I opened it I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I began to read.

'dear y/n,

I'm sorry that it ends like this, but I see no other way out. I packed my things and left. I never wanted it to end like this but at some point everything has to end. I never meant to hurt you in any way and now I did. I left a few things with you, it would be very nice of you if you could wrap them up for me and send them to me at the address enclosed.

I just want you to know that I am really guiding and I hope that you will get over it. I always wanted the best for you and I promised you it, and now I'm redeeming this conversation that I gave you back then.

I want you to know that I will always love you. Please don't try to look for me.

 Billie '

When I finished reading I only noticed the tears that found their way down my cheeks and that dripped onto the sheet of paper. I quickly wiped the tears from my cheeks with the end of the fabric of my sweater on my arm. I couldn't believe what she was standing there. Black on white in your handwriting.

She left me just like that and gave me no reason. Only that they now keep her promise that I am happy, but I was not happy. All I could feel was absolutely empty. I was happy with her, why does she think I would be happier without her? What was Billie thinking when she wrote this and grabbed her things. 

Since when had she planned this and why did she do this. This morning everything seemed as it always was. But apparently it was not true.

She had left me and so it was now. Asked me to send her irrelevant objects that she had left here to the address written on the letter and not to look for her. 

The first few days I slept in the living room. Whenever I walked into the bedroom my mind was flooded with all the memories we had created over the months.

My heart was still broken in a thousand pieces and it didn't feel like that feeling would soon leave me and be replaced by a better, more comfortable feeling.

It was already a month ago when Billie left me and I sent her the box with her things.

During this time I let the work consume my pain before the pain consume me on the inside.

More months passed and the pain subsided.

I went into town like every day and, like every day, passed a coffee shop that I know well when I suddenly stopped and watched a familiar person I know well standing in the coffee and taking a mug in her hand and wanted to leave the store.

I couldn't believe it when I saw she. She hadn't seen me when she pushed the door open and walked down the street to a red convertible where a old man was sitting whom I had never seen before. He seemed impatient to wait. And then I saw how she opened the passenger door and leaned over to him and kissed him.

My heart stopped for a few seconds as I watched the act.

It felt like all the feelings I had for Billie came back in one fell swoop when I saw her after so many months.

But something tells me that she wasn't quite as happy as she was trying to be.

But she had left me so as not to hurt me and because she wanted me to be happy. Was he the reason she did it?

She apparently got over me and is now living a different, perhaps happier life.

I knew that one day I would get over her, but I also knew that I would not love anyone the way I love her.

And maybe she never loves me the way I thought she did or the way she said she did.

_______words:1001

I thought maybe it would be nice to start a one short book with Sarah Paulson character, without smut this time. I also hope that is not so depressed