The Unbreakable Lily Rain

In His Mind

~~Cassius' POV~~

Since day one, I watched her.

From her innocent confusion when I flirted with her the first day, to her fiery obstinacy during practices, to her resilience and stubborn desire to do good, even at the expense of her own well-being, I watched it all.

And it infuriated me.

She was so close, yet so unreachable. I'd never met anyone like her before.

Hell night, I attached myself to her immediately, wanting to get closer; trying to prevent any of the others from making their mark and claiming her as their own.  

She was my plebe. I would be the one by her side. I would protect her. I was the only one who would tell her what to do.

I thought that by me being her senior officer, and staying with her during all those practices, she would be free of abuse from the other seniors.

Anything I would do to her would be less than what the others had in mind.

I could only pray that what I chose to do to her during our sweat parties would dull the needless rebellion inside of her enough to keep her out of trouble. At least until recognition day.

But no matter what I did, the fire I saw in her eyes from the first practice only burned brighter as the months went on.

Time after time, she strayed from my command, getting into senseless fights she shouldn't have been a part of.

I was enraged.

How could someone so powerless stand up to those who could crush them in an instant?

I suppose it wasn't all rage, though.

I was afraid.

Every time she got close to another officer, I panicked.

What would they do to her? Could I stop them if I had to, without looking like I cared too much?

If she got seriously hurt, could I forgive myself?

After she stood up for the boy with the inhaler, I watched in horror as my classmate, my friend, Greene, beat her senseless.

But I couldn't stop him.

I thought, this was how the system works. A beating now will save her life in the field later.

After today, I thought, she would learn.

There would be no more rebellion. No more fighting. No more senseless battles in the name of justice. No more fire.

But I was wrong.

She came back from the infirmary just as strong as ever. She was resilient.

It was then that I admitted to myself; I wanted to be part of her life. Her bravery. Her inner strength.

I wanted her.

The last sweat party before winter break was when I made my mistake.

When she stood up to Greene again, I knew it was the last straw.

He would snap, and so would the others.

And I knew about the taming.

It was a ritual at the Institute, of sorts. Every plebe they thought of as unworthy, they would eradicate. I had never known anyone who could make it through the taming unscathed. Of the few I had seen, all had gone home in pieces. They all left the day after it happened. Some went insane. Some went back with permanent physical damage.