Heart of thorns and iron

2. Edward

I settled down on a log just as Simon dropped down beside me. Really, did no fucking one understand the concept of individual space? Apparently not, because my head was literally on top of Simon's rustled copper hair, which smelled of vines and was full of twigs. Could've been attractive... a thousand universes from here, like humans would say. Really, I didn't give a shit about humans because fae were clearly superior. Full blooded ones only, of course.

I had gone straight to the commander begging for a platoon change, because, honestly, the bastard to my left, the half vampire, the disowned wolf, the half pixie little worm, the ruined maid and the angry son of a nobody were absolute dirty assholes. Of course, at the time I hadn't realized Stella was the commander, so I'd returned from there drooling about her and wishing to stay without even having a single word. A similar phenomenon happened each time I tried to talk my way out of here. So it seemed I was going to stay.

Everyone except Kyle, who was on watch, sat down on different logs around the fireplace. Many complaints had gone up about having to eat together, which only made Stella's decision way more firm. Fuck her. Chris ended up on my other side and I rolled my eyes at him, and he showed his fangs at me. Why would someone be proud of being a dirty parasite?

Melinda came up to the douche squealing like a puppy and handing him an over sized ration which I was sure was a waste. And there was no way I was gonna starve one day in favor of any of these people.

"Hey" I spat at Melinda when she went to hand my food over "That's like, three rations more than what he needs" I said eyeing Chris' tray.

"Chrissy can have whatever amount of food he likes!" she pouted at me.

"Actually Melinda, I may not want so much food..." Chris intervened too politely.

"Nonsense! Of course you do! You're literally on your bones!" Melinda barked back at him.

"And how come you even know?" Simon asked from beside me, reminding me of his grim existence just when I'd managed to wipe him off my mind.

"Yeah, Melindy, did you sneak up on him whilst he was bathing or something?" Jakob asked like a total pervert.

"No! Ho- how dare you th- think that of m- me!" Melinda spurted, turning a deep crimson which confirmed my worst suspicions.

"What the actual fuck?" Chris screamed, his eyes so wide in horror they could've just popped out. "Melinda, please tell me you did not-"

Melinda whimpered in shame and tried to nuzzle him, but he had already shot out of reach with his vampire speed. "Oh come on Chrissy, couldn't you please, please please forgive me! It's just-

"Quit it you pixie wench" I snapped at her "Don't continue making yourself an absolute fool - can't you see he totally hates you now!"

The wench in question just wailed pathetically and fled the scene. One more out. Jakob tried to high five me for unknown reasons, but I just ignored him - as if I would ever touch his dirty hand!

"Now, now boys," Stella's voice rang in my ears as she came into view from behind. Gods, she really looked like an angel fallen from heaven. "Have you been terrorizing poor Melinda again? I just saw her crying in her tent. Her sobs are so loud they don't let me concentrate, so could you please avoid upsetting her?"

"Yes, ma'am" we all said in unison, wanting to please her so badly it made my heart itch.

"And, just in case you didn't hear with all your bickering, Kyle rang the ambush alarm like ten minutes ago. Wouldn't surprise me if he's dead already" she finished with a shrug.

Oh great. We're going to actual battle now.