🏆The Page Turner Awards 2020 Fanfiction 2nd Place Winner!! 🏆
A Student/Teacher romance. Killian JonesxOC
After her father is arrested in connection with the disappearance of her mother, 17 year old Blaire Nolan has no choice but to be completely...
A/N: I'm so sorry this has taken so long. This chapter IS HUGE its 20k words and it was like 40 pages on docs. I hope it makes up for the wait! The POV switches a couple of times in the chapter. I know the last like 3 chapters have all been in Blaires POV this one has Killians POV too.
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Blaire Archie was packing up his notes and computer for the day when he turned and looked at me. "Oh! Blaire. I don't think we had an appointment today, did we?" He asked. I shook my head. "No. We didn't.. I just...I feel like I'm going crazy and I didn't know where else to go but if..you need me to leave so you can go home, I can." I said. "No, no, have a seat. Talk to me." Archie smiled and put his bag down beside his desk and pulled his chair around to me and sat down. I sat down on the sofa in the room and chewed anxiously at my nails. "What is going on?" Archie asked. "I don't know how to say all of this without you sending me straight to the looney bin." I said. "You don't have to worry about me sending you away Blaire. I've seen crazy and you are far from it. I know your anxiety can make you feel out of control but I promise you, you are not crazy." Archie said. "This is a safe place, you can talk to me about anything." "I keep messing everything up. Will and Wendy are both mad at me and I deserve it I'm sure but it just really sucks when I need them the most, neither of them want to talk to me." I said. "What makes you think you deserve their anger?" Archie asked. "Its hard to explain." I sighed. I didn't feel comfortable telling Archie about the unknown number thats been making my life a living hell. I knew he would recommend me going to the police and there was just too much at stake if I took this to the police. "Sometimes, our fears and our anxieties make us push the people we love away. We're afraid that our troubles are a burden on them. Sometimes it may feel easier to not have people around when you feel unstable, you feel your life is crashing down all around you and you don't want the people you care about getting caught in the middle." Archie explained. "Exactly." I said.
"Those feelings can trigger what I like to refer to as a self destruction mode in your brain, You feel like you deserve to not have your friends and you start a chain of sabotaging the rest of the relationships with people around you until you are completely isolated." Archie said. "I don't want to lose my friends though. I just don't know how to keep them all safe." I said feeling tears welling up in my eyes. "I keep fucking everything up. I'm so angry all the time, I almost hurt Emma at lunch today. I haven't been able to sleep well in three days. The most sleep I've gotten without interruption was in Algebra this morning and thats because the teacher just let me sleep. I keep seeing things and I can't tell if they're real or not." I said and raked my fingers through my hair.
Archie tried his best to hide the overwhelming concern on his face, probably to keep me from freaking out even more, but I could see it. "And there it is." I said and stood up. "You do think I'm crazy!" Archie stood up and put his hands out. "Blaire, I do not think you are crazy. You know how I feel about that word. I'm only concerned." Archie said. "Are you having nightmares again? Lack of sleep can certainly cause hallucinations. We just need to get to the root of why you aren't sleeping." "My life right now is a never ending nightmare." I said as I paced the floor. "Lets talk about what you are seeing, when you say you are seeing things that you aren't sure are real." Archie said. "I keep seeing this guy..with a mask on, its just a white mask with almost no features.Just two holes for the eyes. He dresses all in black and wears a hoodie with the hood pulled up over his head. I saw him this morning behind my truck but when I went to look for him, he wasn't there, and then I saw him again at school in the cafeteria after Wendy and I had an argument." I said. "Have you seen him before?" Archie asked. "Once and now I'm starting to wonder if that was real too. A while back I was home alone and it sounded like someone was trying to break in, and there was knocking on the kitchen window and when I looked, there he was, so I ran up stairs and grabbed the baseball bat we keep in the hallway, I heard someone come in the house, and up the stairs and when they got to the hallway, I swung the bat. I almost killed David. It was David." I said.
"It sounds to me like whatever is causing your lack of sleep and your anxiety is manifesting itself visually for you. It can be terrifying, and it can feel very real, but you have to know that its not." Archie said. "How do I stop it then?" I asked and stopped pacing. "Well, we can increase your medications a little, If you're having trouble falling asleep, I can add something to help but ultimately, we need to find out what is causing it. You've been through a lot this last year and I know that we've talked about you feeling guilty for your mothers murder, is there anything else you may feel at blame for?" Archie asked. "Guilt is one of big causes of sleep deprivation." I tilted my head to the side and watched Archie carefully. "Why did you ask that?" I asked. "If I've offended you Blaire I'm truly sorry. That wasn't my intention." I started pacing again. "He's gotten to you too." I said. "I can't go anywhere without him always being one step ahead." I mumbled. "Blaire..who are you talking about?" Archie asked. "What did he tell you?" I asked. "Blaire I don't know what you are talking about." Archie said. "Bullshit!" I yelled. "I really need you to settle down Blaire." Archie said calmly. "I don't know whats going on, but I do know you're confused, and you're probably scared." "What did he tell you?" I asked and stepped forward with my fists balled at my sides. Archie stepped back looking rather alarmed. "Who are you talking about Blaire? The man with the mask?" Archie asked as I continued stepping towards him. "So you do know him." I said. "I only know what you've told me." Archie said and put his hands out. "I don't know how he knew, but he knew I would come here today...but he got here first." I scoffed. "I can't win. No matter what I do, this isn't going to end. So why even fucking bother?!" I shouted and kicked one of the chairs in the room.It hit the wall and turned on its side.
"Blaire!" Archie said raising his voice, startling me. He was always so soft spoken. I blinked at him, I looked down at my balled fists and then at the chair on its side. I looked back at Archie. "I...I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed. "Hey.. it's okay." Archie said. "Its not! I almost hurt you!" I said and let out a sob and sat down on the sofa again and pulled my knees up to my chest trembling. Archie crouched down in front of me. "But you didn't Blaire. I'm okay." He said softly. "I don't even know what happened." I cried. "Do you remember any of what you were saying just now?" Archie asked. I shook my head. "Thats what scares me the most." I sniffled. "It flips on and off like a switch and I feel so out of control. I don't want to hurt anyone. Maybe you should lock me away somewhere." "Hey, that is not going to happen. We will work through this together. I don't see any need to have you hospitalized. But I want to start seeing you weekly, maybe twice a week. Okay?" He asked. I nodded. Archie smiled and stood up walking to his desk for his phone. "Did you drive here?" He asked. "No, I got a ride..I left my truck at the school." I said. "Would it be okay if I call your Uncle to come pick you up?" Archie asked. I nodded again and turned my head to the side watching the rain outside.
There was a silence between David and I as he was driving. The only sounds was the low rumble of thunder, the wind hitting the windshield, and the slight squeak from the windshield wipers. "Have I done something to upset you?" He asked breaking the silence. "What? No..not at all. Why?" I asked. "Well, its just for a while things seemed to be running pretty smoothly between us. You talked to me about things that were bothering you and lately it feels like we've moved three steps backwards, you stopped talking and you seem angry all the time, like when you first came to town." David said. "You didn't do anything." I said. "While you were in the car waiting Archie told me a little about what happened." David admitted. "So much for patient confidentiality." I sighed. "He didn't go into details, just that he was very concerned. That was the deal, remember? He'd only involve me if he thought you or anyone else was at risk." David said. "He mentioned there was a moment where you didn't seem yourself, you were confused." "I don't really remember much of it. I just need some sleep.." I said. "He wrote a new prescription for that, we're going to go pick it up now. He also wants to increase the dosage on your other. I'm keeping you home from school tomorrow." David said. "Okay." I said.
