Nothing hurts more than loving someone who isn't yours to love. I didn't know this is what one-sided love was like, it was just something I read, something I barely knew about.
Until I experienced it with you. How when I look at you the way I do, I see a completely different response. Something I will never get over, because you deserve the world. And unfortunately I am not worth the world. I want it to be us, I always did. You're the one for me. I know it in my heart, my bones, in my everything. I just don't know, am I the one for you?
I've never seen myself become so devoted. My actions appear scattered, choices non-congruent with the rest of society. I know what love is, and what it isn't. Though I am yet to learn the different meanings.
Unrequited love, such a pretty phrase for such an ugly meaning. I had experienced this, of course. But it wasn't beautifully written like in the books. No, my story was filled with cries and screams of rejection, bathroom floors and tear stained cheeks. A story known to have only a doomed ending, right from the beginning.
He thought I was hot, I thought he was charming. All he thought of was my naked body, all I thought of was how his smile gave me butterflies. He was desperate to take me home, I was desperate to make him my home. For him, the feelings were short and temporary, some would even call them desires. For me, they were strong and undying. We were not the same, not even close.
And now, although my body has left him, my heart refuses to follow. Leaving my soul achingly wandering in his deathly hallows.
