I sit in the rain, so that maybe I can drown in something other than my thoughts. Yet suddenly I begin to feel really tired. Like the world has drained me for everything I have, my eyes form a blank stare, not much more and still tears brim from my eyes. Lately, what I have been crying about most is myself. The person I used to be and lost and the person in the present with not one clue of her future. Nothing's wrong, but nothing's right either. And yet I feel there has always been a little sadness in my happiness, I never have been able to separate the two.