The Song Remains the Same

Chapter 21

Arizona hadn't even turned over and she could feel the eyes on her. Callie hadn't been sleeping well since Owen's death. She hadn't woken up from little knees or elbows this morning though, so this might be the first night one of the kids (or more than one) hadn't come to sleep in bed with them. Right now it was just Callie pressed closed against her back, warm curves, strong arms, legs entwined beneath the sheets. Perfect, gorgeous, heart-stopping chocolate eyes she could feel boring a hole in the side of her head. “You're doing it again,” she grumbled without opening her own eyes.

“I can't look at my girlfriend?” Callie asked, one finger pulling hair back from her ear.

She would have no problem with that if that's what was really happening. It wasn't just looking at her though. It was watching her sleep and having uninterrupted time for private thoughts. But what if one of those private thoughts was that maybe this wasn't working, maybe they needed time as a family, maybe there wasn't room for her here?

Callie leaned in to kiss the skin she'd just uncovered, the hand on Arizona's side sliding across bare skin where her shirt had ridden up while they'd slept. Arizona couldn't help stretching back luxuriously into the contact. “Mmh, I'm glad you're awake,” Callie murmured against her skin.

“Because it's less creepy to watch someone when they're conscious?” asked Arizona, teasing. It earned her a quick pinch to the side. She restrained a yawn and leaned her head back to get a glimpse of Callie's expression. “How did you sleep?” Callie's answer was to bite her lip. “Calliope...”

Callie's eyes fell closed. “I don't – I can't talk about it, Arizona.”

Arizona could only sigh. “Well then what are we doing awake?” She'd learned quickly in the months she'd been with Callie that mornings they could sleep in past the kids were rare and to be treasured. They were all exhausted, having stayed up late in the nights after the funeral. They'd been drowning in grief, the air in the house thick with it, and Callie had been entirely unable to send them to bed. They needed to all be together right now.

At this particular second though, she was grateful to be alone with Arizona. Her partner was incredible, unbelievable, and she thought she'd been in love with her before. These weren't ideal circumstances that they'd started their relationship, she knew that. They'd been together barely six months and she'd gone through a divorce and now a death in the family. It would test any relationship. Arizona had never wavered. Not once. She was strong and supportive, listening when Callie needed to talk and not pushing when she just couldn't talk about it anymore. And Arizona claimed she'd never been cut out to be a mother, but she was doing her damndest to be there for Callie's kids, distracting them when it was too much and giving them a shoulder to cry on when they couldn't bear it for another minute. Callie thought she'd loved her before the crash and everything that had come after, but now she saw infinite new sides to her and couldn't help falling in love with each of them all over again.

“You want me here, right?” Arizona's softly spoken question interrupted the peaceful quiet and Callie's eyes snapped open.

“What? Of course I do. What makes you – why would you think I don't want you here?” The fact of the matter was Callie wasn't quite sure what she was going to do when Arizona started sleeping at her own apartment again. She did know that this wasn't how she wanted Arizona to move in, however.

“You get all quiet, and you're watching me sleep, and you get this look on your face like you're thinking, but I have no idea what you're thinking, but I know how hard things have been lately, so I was thinking that maybe you were thinking that you could all use a little space, and I get it -”

Her ramble was cut off by a sudden kiss, Callie unable to help herself. She just had to kiss her. Callie shifted as Arizona kissed her back slowly, settling her body over her girlfriend's and pressing forward to deepen the kiss. Arizona was hazy and breathless before she withdrew. “Do you want to know what I was thinking about?” Arizona's eyes didn't open but she licked her lips and nodded, chest rising as she breathed in deep. “I was thinking about how much I love you,” Callie told her, happy in spite of everything else going on outside of her bedroom. “Moron.”