You and I (a Taylor Caniff fan fic)

23

It's been a four weeks since Taylor left and my mother been letting me stay home from school. I would sit there and just think I guess, feeling a void in my heart. Like something wasn't there but I knew that something was Taylor.

Taylor would call each day, then he would call very two days, then he would call once a week. I tried calling him but it would be sent to voice mail, that would kill me inside. I haven't been the same really . I could be overreacting but knowing him he probably moved on and found the most perfect girl and forgot about me. I was brought out of my thoughts by a knock on the door. "Come in?" I questioned not reall expecting anyone to come.

Nash peered around the door and smiled at me. "How have you been sis?" He whispered walking more into the room and sitting by me. He wrapped his arm around me and I cuddled into him missing my older brother (A/N they aren't really related just call each other that, FYI). "I've been terrible really." I mumbled . He kissed my head and sighed. "How long has it been?"

"four weeks ." I said looking at him and smiled sadly and looked around my room. "Sorry I haven't been here, had to go to Chicago for my Uncle's funeral." He mumbled looking at me. I nodded and mumbled a 'its fine'. I don't know why but the tears came rushing down. Nash held me and told me it's going to be okay. That word okay.

Nothing will ever be okay. I'm not okay ,life isn't okay. Me being without taylor is not okay. Him moving on isn't okay. Mr missing him so badly that I can't function without thinking about him that isn't okay. Nothing will be okay. Nothing will ever be okay. I pushed him away and stared at him.

"DONT SAY THAT!!" I screamed feeling dizzy. "Don't say what-okay?"
He questioned trying to grab me.

"YES THAT!! NOTHING WILL EVER BE OKAY!!" I yelled covering my ears.

"Jaila calm down." Nash said walking over to me. "Please nothing will be the same, ever, he loves someone else." My mind was getting cloudy with emotions and voices. Nash was leaning side to side and I saw fuzzy images. What is happening?

"No he doesn't Jaila, he loves you."

I shook my head and I almost fell. "He hates me, he thinks I'm disgusting. I just want everything to go blank." I mumbled looking at the ground. I could feel the tears but I knew they were there. Rolling down my cheeks like rivers. I closed my eyes for a second and slid down the wall. Nash came and scooped me up. "Okay, okay let's call him." He pulled out his phone shaking and dialed Taylor's number. He didn't answer and Nash huffed. "One more time Jaila." He dialed it again going straight to voice mail. "Damnit answer the phone!!" He huffed and threw his phone. "It's okay Jaila." I shook my head and cried harder. His phone beeped and he took it reading a text and sighing. "Jaila, Shelby and I are going on a date, I'll be back tomorrow." I nodded and smiled.

"I don't want to keep you, go have fun." He looked unsure but I practically pushed him out the door. "Call me if anything happens!!" He shouted before he left.

I walked to my bathroom and took out my pills.

Ten different brands and names that I can't even pronounce.

I called Taylor one more time. It went straight voicemail which I made one.

"Hi t-taylor you might hate me right now but I don't feel good. I don't want to be here any more. I'm tired of this. You haven't called and I'm probably overreacting but I hope you find someone who will love you better than I could. I'm going to go now, I love you and always will. I'm going to disappear now. Bye Taylor good loving you." I hung up and opened the different pill bottles. I looked down at the different colors and sizes. I walked to my bedroom with the medication in my hand and took out my already written suicide note, I made about two weeks ago. Sad really.

I laid the note next to me and popped the pills in my mouth.

1

2

4

9

20

38

Dizzy

Fuzzy

Eyes heavy

Blackness.

Taylor p.o.v

I was pulling  into Jaila's drive way when I got a voicemail from her. I put my phone on silent getting multiple calls from Nash and Jaila. Weird I hope nothing happened but I feel something happened... I opened the voicemail which happens over ten minutes ago. I opened it hearing Jaila's broken voice come into speaker. My heart dropped and I dropped the phone jumping out of the truck rushing into house and throwing open the door. I ran to her room seeing the door open. The thing I saw tore my soul out. Jaila was lying there with pills around her and she was still. I grabbed her phone and dialing 911. "Um can you please help my girlfriend she overdoesed!!!!" I yelled into the phone holding Jaila. I rocked her back and forth trying to make this somewhat right.

"Okay sit medical service will be right there." I nodded and hung up , sweeping the hair out if her face crying softly. I was hoping this wouldn't happen. I just hoped.

"I love you Jaila, baby I love you, don't leave me baby, I love you so so much. Please baby don't leave me here by myself, to many people love you." I kissed her cold lips and I cried more. I picked up the note by side her and read it.

Dear everyone,

I'm sorry, im really am sorry but I'm just not happy. Everything has gotten to me. The day Taylor asked me out, I was going to do this, commit suicide. But I didn't want to loose him. I love everyone but I think would be so easier without me. I've been beaten, broken down,raped, lied to, abandoned and I was still there. Now I want every one to keep going, okay, without me. I wasn't important, just a waste of space. I still love everyone and it won't ever change. All the memories we share is for us to keep. You might see wet spots on this, well I'm crying. I love you mom, Nash, Shelby, Amy, and everyone.

But you Taylor I will always keep a eye on you, I love you with everything. I hope you don't take this down the wrong path, I want you to get clean, smile, be you. I want you to be the guy that I would get married to but with another girl okay. I hope I'm always in your heart.

    Love Jaila.

A/N WASNT EXPECTING THAT WERENT YOU. YEP ME NEITHER BUT SOMETHING NEEDED TO HAPPEN. BUT DONT WORRY THE STORY WILL KEEP GOING ON. MAYBE??? SEQUEL??? Thoughts.

Answer these questions:

Do you think Jaila is dead??

Do you think I should make a sequel??

What will happen next?!?! Thoughts!??!?!

-jj

Now guys don't get sad about this chapter inbox me if u need to:)