No longer in control, her hands instinctively gripped the fabric of her seat, her shoulder blades hit the back of her seat, and her eyes opened again as she felt the bus start to move.
It was an escape, but she was fearful.
// the unknowns ; exten...
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• • •
hugs and kisses
hilarious, i'm a prankster. i used that phrase solely to get your attention. i guess it is at this fine time of 2:11 AM that i become sentimental. as always, thank you so much for reading. for your endless support and comments, it makes this writing journey so much more meaningful to me.
and for stories that hit closer to home, like this one, it's comforting to know i'm not alone; you're not alone. for waiting and reaching the end of this short story, thank you, again and forever.
• • •
what was the author thinking!
ah, is this what you've been waiting for? i don't know why, but i always look forward to writing these last chapters of stories because it's where i just release all of my thoughts, and the motive behind writing what i do. without further ado, here is the story behind 'the unknowns.'
this story was the first story i started publishing on this wattpad account. i, truly, cannot remember why i chose to release such a sad, heart-breaking piece, maybe i just wanted to know i wasn't alone at that time. in any case, i started writing this story after my first semester of college over winter break, fresh out of finals, having not performed as well as i desired. i found myself in a very dark place, alone, lost, and confused. and grace became the fictional version of myself, also sad, hesitant, and lacking confidence.
that's why when people began commenting and sharing their thoughts, connecting with the story i was writing, i felt so touched and not alone. however, there are two sides of it: (1) it comforted me knowing others could understand where i was coming form, but (2) it saddened me knowing others could relate to the pain i was also feeling/felt. simply, the feeling sucks, and i can only hope people don't have to experience it. this story really is a double-edged sword, i think we all need virtual hugs.
at the end of the day, writing this story did do a lot for me. i began understanding my feelings to a greater degree; verbalizing and contextualizing emotions that were jumbled in my brain clarified things in my real life. looking back, writing the happier, more positive, and light-hearted chapters where grace found herself, inspired me to, also, find myself, understand my position in this world from where i am today, and realize there is light at the end of the tunnel.
in some ways, this is a diary of mine. but, i do find great honor in being able to share it with you all. this story started with the idea of uncertainty and a lot of sadness, and i'm glad it ended with the primary focus on of an individual successfully finding herself, not because of a knight of shining honor, but because of the efforts she took to better herself; falling in love was the cherry on top.
and, you know, maybe this work isn't my best, but what it did for me is something i am extremely grateful for. and you all played significant roles in this journey! <3
• • •
a last goodbye
it's weird saying goodbye to a story i haven't touched in a long time; i, almost, don't know how to properly move on from this. i've always played with the idea of making this story not short, in order to hit topics i would like to explore and emphasize, but i guess it's the months i go without touching this story that makes it difficult to incorporate such ideas.
for me, it's hard to stretch and force a story that began with a simple yet deep emotion to become longer; you know, maybe i'm just made for short stories because of my incapability of being thorough with my plots haha. (in any case, i do enjoy short stories, so i don't mind not being able to write longer ones lol) nonetheless, i'm glad i've officially marked this story complete because i know how dark of a place i was at when i started writing it.
the lack of updates went hand in hand with my current emotions. as i became happier and less stressed, worried, and lost, it became more challenging to tap into these thoughts, hence fewer updates. and, that is good and healthy for real life me! time helped, but it was also the distractions, the people, and the experiences i began encountering that made me feel better about myself.
[context: i wrote this chapter a few days ago, and i can now update the above paragraph. maybe i had phases where i became happier and less stressed, but i think more importantly, i found healthier, better ways to approach sad scenarios now. frankly, i might be going back down the sad trail after getting one of my midterm grades today, where i really, really didn't do well, but for some reason it doesn't impact me as much as last year. hopefully, it's not because i don't care, but more because i can view these things differently. in any case, i am feeling a bit down, so maybe past me knew this feeling would come, which is why i wrote the last chapter of this story, knowing i would need this ounce of hope reading and editing that last chapter came with.]
grace, really, was a fictional version of myself in many, many ways, and, specifically, the emotions i was feeling at one of my lowest times. knowing she ends up well in this story does comfort and inspire me, and i hope it did comfort and inspire you, too.
like grace, i hope i can find my light at the end of the tunnel, reach some level of success i can be proud of, and just be happy, at peace without stress. truly, i hope we all can, one day.
