Divergence

What It Means To Hope (Part 2)

I have gotten used to people getting mad at me.

Argue... Fight and all...

But you... How are you different from them... Mikey?

It would be nice... If you got mad at me.

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Times seems to past slowly yet ten days have passed since then. Takemichi kept on pondering about those kind of thoughts after all.

He is now 29 years old and Mikey is in his 30s. They are still quite young but a part of Takemichi is still quite confused.

Love... Love... The two of them grew tp love one another so suddenly.

After a few days of meeting, the two of them fell in love with one another. He risked his life to find Mikey again and leave his old life behind to be with Mikey.

To experience death and rebirth.

In a sense it was his second life, and... Takemichi felt scared of it.

He loves Mikey of course, and he loves this life of him. But at times where he often thinks of the occurrences from 12 years, was he really deserving to experience this?

To be loved by someone is a mystery to him.

To love someone is a continuous effort.

He was often at the giving end, and to be on the receiving end was new to him.

Mikey never got mad at him. Ever since they lived together, they never got into an argument.

Takemichi became afraid of this change. Still it was pleasant.

Nightmares were something he can't live without.

He was afraid and he felt guilty. He got a happy life with Mikey, while thinking did he really deserve such happiness...?

Mikey soon noticed the solemn look on his eyes, asking "Takemichi... You seem odd."

"In what way?"

"You look sad... Is something wrong?"

Mikey gently cups his cheeks, eyes staring at him as if to imply that he was there... That he wouldn't go anywhere. An expression of hospitality, with eyes so tender.

Takemichi couldn't help but slowly weep as Mikey hugs him, not asking but just remaining there.

Perhaps love was... Love is when Mikey doesn't get mad at him.

Not expecting in return, always patient and caring...

Eyes and lips forming a bright warm smile. The tender hold of his arms, careful to not exert any pain.

Love is the gentleness of his low husk voice.

Love is when their lips meet and collide.

When Mikey massages his sore arms from field work. When Mikey happily eats all the food at their plates.

Living itself is equivalent to loving.

Takemichi then slowly calms down, as he hug Mikey, burying his head at the nook of Mikey's neck, "Why don't you ever get mad at me?"

"That is a weird question... Do you want me to get mad at you?" Mikey asks in confusion.

"Its not like that... You never complain and even when I make mistakes you always wave it off... Accept my apology saying its nothing... You never wish for anything much..." Takemichi answers slowly as he bit his lower lip.

"Takemichi... Look up at me." Mikey makes Takemichi stop trembling and bite his lips.

Blood drawn and Mikey then wipes the blood, as he softly answer "I love you."

"I know that..."

"I don't know a lot about love but you see... My brother actually told me that. If I were to love someone, I shouldn't expect anything in return but love that person... Which is why, I don't expect anything at all... I just want to love you with what I have, with what I can... I want to love you, because you saved me... You gave me a home... A place to belong to." Mikey's eyes held tenderness, smiling gently as he wipe the stray tears from Takemichi's eyes.

It was such a mellow moment and it felt so sweet..."Is that really okay.." Takemichi grew accustomed to people scolding him, demanding something from him and to be loved with having not to return something back is new.

Love for him was a negotiation... To get back something from giving.

And now... The love he is showered with is like a light rain, before he even knew it he is completely covered with Mikey's warmth and love for him.

"Of course its okay... I am not doing this because I expected something in the first place, I just love you... So, Takemitchy you don't have to fuss about the details... All you have to do is to stay with me. That much is already a payment."

Mikey softly pats his back and pepper kisses to his skin, and he felt like flowers bloomed around every nook and cranny of kisses left to him. Stars and comfort surround them both, and he was happy.

When he is Mikey he does not have to think at all.

It was a feeling of getting lost, but it is cherished feeling.

Loving Mikey is happiness... He does not have to think any further but just to be lost in the feeling of love.

But its normal to want to return something back for that love.

Just like that Takemichi closed his eyes, as he get spoiled at Mikey's cuddle to him..

Perhaps it is not only you who was saved by me on our first encounter.

Mikey you saved me as well.

Fate or not.... But what follows is all my choice...

So what happens next to us... Is my choice as well...

All that you have to do is to get lost to that feeling.