controlled

chapter eight

Word count:  1002

LOUIS POV:

Louis read the clock, ("8:09 pm") everything felt strange, he had this feeling of guilt and regret sitting in the pit of his stomach, but he couldn't remember why. Lou began to panic as he looked around the room, it wasn't his room. The room was bare with white walls, he lay on a single bed that was placed in the corner of the room, where most of the sunlight shone through from the window. He sat up feeling weight slide off his chest, now against the sheets a single heat pack was sat, it was still slightly warm from whenever he got it. Louis didn't know where or how he got it, though he was grateful.

"oh, your awake, boo bear." Harry strode into the room. Boo Bear? He thought to himself. "I know it's like," he glanced over at the clock, "8:11 am, but I got some chocolate milllkkk, oh, unless you prefer strawberry then I get uh quickly get some?" he said frantically pointing at the door, Louis took the milk from his hands,

"No, it's okay, I-l'll just have this," he looked down at the milk but instead seeing red rings wrapped around his skin. that's when he remembered, everything. "E-Eleanor she Harry," Lou stutter looking up at Harry with tears in his eyes. Carefully he pulled up the doona checking if he had anything on underneath, "H-How?" Harry flew down, wrapping his arms tightly around him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Harry whispered over and over. Louis placed his hands around his hip and pulled in closer, Lou shredded tears into Haz's shoulders which he didn't seem to mind, he simply just held him. Green (Harry if you forgot) lifted Lou onto his lap so he was facing him. Louis felt as harry pulled him closer once more but this time tighter, he wrapped his legs around his waist and buried his face into Haz's neck. quietly they both sat silently sobbing into each other, no one spoke, no one moved. He couldn't help but wonder what Harry was doing in his room, I'm the back of his mind he knew, he just didn't want to admit it.

"Do wanna talk about it Bub?" Green rubbed his back in circular motions.

"I-I um" he began, he couldn't seem to find his words. "I should of- "

"No Lou it wasn't your fault, I should have come out and helped, I-I wish I knew," Harry said cutting him off. What were you doing? Lou screamed in his head.

"You didn't know so if I- "

"Lou, it wasn't you, it was her let's settle on that kay?" he heard the hesitation in his voice as he spoke, but he was right it was all her.

"Who was she, if you don't want to say it's okay," Harry said rubbing the sides of his body, Lou loved when he did this it gave HIS butterflies, butterflies.

"she um was my ex, we broke up months ago, she didn't like that, that's why she came back. When she saw me with you she-she," a lump formed in his throat forbidding him from speaking without crying. Harry tangled his fingers in his hair,

"It's okay, I promise. If you don't feel like saying it's okay, tell me when you're ready," being with Harry gave him a sense of comfort do he wanted to continue, for him.

"s-she said she wanted to suck the g-gay away," he broke down in tears again.

"homophobic piece of-"Harry mumbled cracking his knuckles, "your perfect Lou, so what if your gay it doesn't make you any less human. it's a part of you, not some disease she makes it out to be. I-I once knew someone, they you know, thought they were straight, I-they denied every feeling they had towards this boy away, but eventually excepted and trust me, now they feel on top of everything, well kinda- there a bottom," They both laughed, he wished his face wasn't still resting on his shoulder so he could see Harry's cute dimples on the sides of his face when he smiled. "wait, your gay?" Lou wasn't expecting after all that he was going to throw in a question he didn't have an answer for nor even thought about yet.

"I don't know, I never really thought about it even when I had a few moments with a guy." He was really now thinking to himself, was he gay? Was harry?

"a-are you?" he blurted out,

"I've actually thought about it, I don't know, I guess I might be..." he couldn't help but smile, why did he feel so, excited?

"you know you can tell me anything right," he hoped in saying this harry would keep talking.

"oh, well, I met this person not so long ago, they are truly amazing, we have things in common that I've never had with other people. I've been in doubt if I should tell them because, well I didn't know myself," Louis knew for a fact he was talking about him, "do you think I should tell them, w-would they even like me?" 'oh harry, they do' he said in his mind

"I think you should tell them, I have a feeling they might like you back," Harry pulled his face off his shoulder and their eyes instantly met, he was in awe at how green and sparkly Haz's eyes were.

"Louis- I" lou didn't let him finish before he put his hands on his neck and pulling him forward pushing his lips against Green's. harry pulled away smiling before announcing proudly,

"I'm gay, ohh that felt good," Louis smiled,

"I'm gay too,"

They sat in the kitchen drinking tea that Harry willingly made.

"shoot, we have the swimwear photoshoot tomorrow," he pulled his fingertips up to his forearm wincing a little. Louis knew what he had done, he didn't want to say anything just in case. He ran over swinging his arms around the taller boys waist.

"it'll be fine."

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Sorry this chapter took so long, I've been busy

Enjoy :)

Written on 08/10/2021 published 10/10/2021

-kaitie xx