It All Hurts.

Chapter 6

Bucky woke up in the morning to an empty bed, his heart skipping a beat. Did Sam leave? He frowned but immediately relaxed feeling how warm the bed still was. He just got up. He listened to his surroundings, hearing shuffling in their bathroom and Sarah, AJ and Cass downstairs. Probably eating breakfast. He stayed where he was, not wanting to move from the warm blankets. He hated being cold. That was one of the reasons he loved Delacroix, the coldest it got was from the wind chill over the waters. Cold reminded him of cryo, lots of bad memories. He felt refreshed, and overall fairly good despite what had happened that night.

Sam walked back in the room in just boxers, smiling dorkily seeing Bucky awake. He sat on the bed and leaned down to kiss the older.

"Good morning, Jamie" He whispered. "C'mon, gotta get up. Sarah made your favorite, chocolate chip waffles" He prompted. Buckys face lit up and he sat up, groaning as he stretched his bruised arms above his head. It was useless to raise the metal arm above his head, but the stretch on his sides and shoulders was the main purpose.

"Youre gonna have to put some clothes on if youre going to there, youre not exactly wearing many clothes." He smiled, his voice raspy from lack of use and general morning voice. He slid off the bed and slid on his own sweatpants and a tight red t-shirt. Sam wouldve teased Bucky about it before they started dating, but at this point he didnt care. It highlighted Buckys muscles and frame, and Sam couldnt be mad at that.

The two of them made their way out to the kitchen, meeting AJ, Cass and Sarah who were at the table with their food. A table spot was saved for the couple, a large plate of waffles infront of each of them.

"Thank you Sarah, looks delicious." He smiled. His voice was quiet and soft, and his heart skipped a few beats seeing Sarahs smile falter as she saw his arm. The yellow-green hand shaped bruise that adorned it seeming even more visible in the morning light.

~~

The next night was the next occurrence of how damaged Bucky still was from Madripoor. Waking Sam up to what would have seemed like a wet dream, but on closer inspection he looked like he was fighting back, sobs wracking his body. Sams heart broke, it was clear Bucky was having a nightmare about one of the horrible things HYDRA had done to him.

"Bucky, hey, Bucky. Baby, wake up. Youre okay, wake up." He cooed, shaking his shoulder. "Bucky, c'mon babe, Wake up." He spoke loud enough for Bucky to hear him clearly, but not loud enough to disturb the rest of his family. Bucky woke up with a jolt, gasping and heaving for breath, staring foreward to the dresser across from the bed. Sam didnt dare touch him, he would let Bucky make the first moves. It was the least the super soldier deserved.

"S-sam?" He mumbled, looking to Sam. His breath hitched and he sobbed hard, lunging himself into the Falcons built chest, his arms wrapping carefully and securely around him.

"Shhh, youre okay. Im here." He whispered, hesitating but carding a hand through his short hair.

"They- You- Fuck, Sam..." He whimpered, tears wetting Sams chest as he cried. "They- You were with me a-and they held you back and- and raped me! Right in front of you!" He yelped, arms tightening with his sobs. "It hurt so bad... It always hurts so bad..."

Sam felt sick. What kind of person would do that to another human being? It hurt him, pissed him off, knowing that people had violated his boyfriend like that. Every time they had made love, it was soft and sweet and slow and they both loved it. Bucky took the lead most times, and Sam had zero problem with that. Whatever made him most comfortable. The thought of not having control in those situations made Bucky sick. Because he hadnt had control for the 80 years he was with HYDRA. He wasnt allowed a choice, words, anything. It was forceful, rough and painful. He was merely a toy for them to abuse however they wanted.

"Shh, youre not there anymore. No ones gonna hurt you like that again. Not on my watch. Not anymore." He reassured. He let it happen once, and he will never forgive himself for it. He'll be damned if he ever lets it happen again.