The Billionaire's Nanny

Gone (Lucas POV)

Lucas

Silence greeted me as I walked past the foyer, a gripping cold silence that wrenched my heart. I knew she was not here yet I spent the next few minutes leaving no stone unturned to confirm the fact.

I had seen it in her eyes when she said she wanted to come home by herself and in that 10 minutes, I had been apart from her, she had slipped through my fingers.

I had never seen my home so cold and empty and quiet. Even when the kids were not there was still some warmth. But tonight it was as lifeless as I felt inside.

My eyes locked on the spot where she was standing the night she had told me she loved me too. The air still lingered of her scent. Vanilla and rose. I wanted to feel her warmth, wanted to pull her close to me, so much I wanted to say, needed to tell her.

But she was gone.

Summoning the courage, I climbed the stairs leading upstairs to her room in heavy, hopeful steps. Maybe she just needed to get some time away, maybe she just asked the driver to take a long drive so she could think. Maybe there was still some hope for my sorry ass. Some hope that Chris had not left completely.

The door creaked open and I stepped inside. My eyes were accustomed to the darkness before I flicked the light switch.

Relief poured through me at the sight of her room still in order. Everything was still in place, the bed was still made, the closet still full of her clothes.

I drummed my fingers on her table relentlessly, wondering where she could have gone. If all of her stuff was still here there she could not have gone very far.

Maybe she would come back. She had to.

I had fucked up majorly tonight, I knew that. I was going to tell Chris the news about my divorce along with the signed papers once it was all concluded, but all my plans were ruined tonight.

"You lied to me!"

Her words replayed in my memory, weighing heavily on my mind. I had not given her the whole truth but I did not lie to Chris, and even if it seemed like so, it really was not because I meant to. She had to understand that I only kept my divorce issue away because I did not want to hurt her.

Because you could not trust her enough to stay by your side after the news.

Maybe it was the fear of losing her, but I really wanted to talk about it with her when I had proof of how serious I was about the divorce and now she was gone before I got the chance to tell her.

No!

She was not gone. She probably decided to take a walk and she would come back sometime later tonight. When she returned, she would scream at me, telling me how hurt she was by my actions, and then we would fix things. Hell, I would beg her on my fucking knees if I had to, but I would not let her leave. My heart could not handle another woman walking out. And this time it was the woman that had rocked my entire world, pulled me out from the saddest place in my life, given me and my kids more love than I could have ever imagined. Chris was my light, I would not survive it if she left. She could—would— not leave me. Christine could not leave because we were meant for each other together.

She would not leave.

I sank into her bed, holding my head in my hands. The tics of the clock informed me of every second that dragged by slowly as I waited for her to come home. A few hours passed and she still was not back.

The only words that rang in my head were: "she would come back...she had to." They were calming and with those words, I was able to deceive myself that she had not walked out on me—on us. The ache pounding in my heart was soothed by that falsity.