I Hate You But I Love You More

Chapter 1

"Mother, do you know what you are asking of me?" I ask. The anger is slowly rising in me. My fist is curving into a ball. I am trying to calm myself as to not act on impulse. I don't want to overreact or get upset. It's my mother, I love her but the fact that she's in front of me right now asking of this favour, upsets me. "Tell me you're not serious." She blinks at me then looks away.

"It's necessary-" She begins but I cut her off.

"It's necessary?" I ask, my eyes filling with water. "It's necessary to basically sell your daughter off in the name of business?" Mother's eyes widen.

"It's not like that Khara. You don't understand." She really thinks this is okay? Has she lost her mind? Is this even my mother because the mother I know will never.

"Then what is it like, mother? Make me understand!" I am now shouting. "You're asking me to marry a stranger!" The tears begin to fall and I try to hold them back. "Since when do you stoop so low?" I ask in the calmest voice possible. She is crying too but she has no right. She isn't the one being thrown into an arranged marriage. How could she? "Since when do you get to make that decision!" I shout and she jolts in her seat. "I won't be your pawn in this game." My chair screeches against the tiled floor as I make my way out of the room. She calls after me but I never once stop or turn in her direction.

Before I can process where I am going, I'm already on James' doorstep. Somehow, he is the first person I think of and now I'm knocking on his door. He opens it after three rounds and I waste no time in crashing into his arms. He hesitantly wraps his arms around me while I bury my face deeper into his chest.

"Let's go in. You'll talk about it." I nod and we make our way to the living room. We both sit comfortably on the sofa with James opposite to me. "Do you want something to drink?" I shake my head. I want my mother to call me and tell me she is only making a silly joke.

"They're using me." I say out of the blue. James has confusion lining his face.

"What? Who?"

"My parents. They said they won't ever use me for business and here they are planning things I had no say in." A tear slips from my eyes yet again and I brush it away. It really saddens me that they, in the end, resort to this. It hurts me that mother even thinks about this.

"Knowing your parents, Khara, they must have a reason." James try to assure me but I can't shake away the disappointment.

"To expand the business." I am sure whoever it is I'm supposed to marry is of a business background. Marrying this person merges both companies and therefore creates room for expansion and market dominance.

"Did you listen to their explanation? Or did you react before they could?" I glare at James. He is supposed to be on my side. Although I haven't yet told him the exact proposal from my mother, I do expect him to see my side of things way better than he is now. I hesitate in telling James because I am embarrassed. For myself and for my parents.

"If you only know-" I begin but he speaks above me.

"Then talk to me." He urges and I look away from him. "You never do. I don't understand how you expect me to help you every time without telling me what's wrong." It's because I'm afraid you'll judge me and leave me in the end. I don't know where that came from but it did and it terrifies me. James and Bella are the only ones that are by my side and I fear that one day I disappoint them.

I suddenly stand. "Thank you for being a good friend and listening to me. I have to go." I now realise that this isn't a problem James or Bella can solve. I have to go sort this out with my parents. They are the ones who are bringing this upon me.