I Hate You But I Love You More

Chapter 42

It has been six months since Darson and I are officially together. We moved into his house a month ago and everything has been going smoothly.

A man I once despised is now one in which I'm very much in love with. I cannot determine when that happened or how. It happened unexpectedly. I didn't see it coming and neither did Darson.

Living with Darson made me see the best and worse side of him. Darson isn't perfect and guess what? No one is. Darson is flawed sure but so is everyone. His flaws made me see him. I saw the real him and the real him didn't want to fraternize with the old him. Darson isn't a bad person. He was stuck with a bad past. A guilty past.

I love the part of Darson that wanted change. Because that part of him is loveable. That part of him is worthy of love.

Darson and I met under ridiculous conditions. We had no connection whatsoever. We had no relation. We were strangers. Strangers thrown into a marriage. A marriage that was obviously fragile. A marriage that was driving us insane. I hated that I couldn't be with someone I love. I hated that I couldn't be happy.

I remember my mother said that Darson and I had to learn to love each other. Could it be that? Could it be that we learned to love because we didn't have a choice?

The thing is, Darson and I weren't adamant on being romantically involved. For all I know it was to each our own.

Living together changed us. We ate together. We laughed together. We talked and we...we fell for each other. We got to know the other. We got to appreciate and to love. So I don't think we learned to love each other. It wasn't forced or expected. We most definitely fell for each other.

I fell for Darson and now I'm in so deep that there's no way coming out. I can only trust that Darson takes care of my heart. I can only trust that he loves me as much as I do him. I trust him. That trust is no longer brittle. No more is it questionable.

A hand circles around my waist and I smile. "What are you thinking about?" My eyes drift away from the aquarium on the wall to look up at Darson.

"You." I answer truthfully.

"What about me?" His chin rests in the crook of my neck and my attention goes to the fishes swimming about the aquarium. They're so pretty. As pretty as the words Darson wrote for me yesterday. Well, some of it was pretty.

My Love,

I was going to do this in person but honestly I'm so great at business speeches but when it comes to matters of the heart, it becomes a bit catastrophic. Let me off the hook this once.

I love you Khara Mia Bain Meldeev. I don't think I can fully express my love with just words. So, if you want me to show you my love in other ways after reading this letter please come to our room. I will most definitely show you. You don't have to but it's an innocent suggestion.

We've come so far, haven't we? There is no time in the day I do not think about you. I think about what you're doing. What you're wearing. What you ate. What you're thinking. You're unapologetically gorgeous and I don't know if you've notice but I stare at you a lot. I can stare at you all day. If I could I would literally handcuff you to myself so we don't have to part.

My gosh, I sound so obsessive. Maybe this letter thing wasn't a good idea after all. I literally sound like a creep. Ignore the last two sentences.