I hate that I love you

If there's something I hate more than eugine's goatee it's quite moments, and if you'd ask another thing I'd say quite moments that also bring room to thinking. Okay, let me elaborate that, I don't mean I hate absolute silence with just my thoughts but here's the thing, whenever I do have some downtime with just myself I'm either doing additional training, or polishing my weaponries , or hanging out with raps, or doing literally anything but thinking cause whenever I do think, the only thing my brian focuses on is him, and it drives me freaking nuts.

It's just creepy how it's him out of literally anything else that my mind travels to, and I can't take it anymore. Why can't he just get out of my head? Just once...I feel like I'm under some kind of spell.

Okay now all of this feels like a deja vu, I mean that's exactly what I said to rupunzel when I went to talk to her this morning about...all this...

".....its so strange! I mean it's reached a point where I can't even stop thinking about him. It's like I'm under some kind of spell" these were my words to rupunzel as I ranted to her for full 15 minutes and honestly, talking about all this really helped...for the first part at least cause after that her reply literally made me froze

"its not a spell cass...it's love!"

What the heck!? Love? Hello? I'm Cassandra! And I don't do touchy feely stuff. Shouldn't she know all this by now? And here I thought she was my best friend.

"love!..." she said again, perhaps trying to get that word in my system cause she sure said it boldly, like ordering me. Hey! You should do that with fitsherbert, I have enough brain to understand what I'm spoken to in the first place, thank you very much!

"...Your in love cass!" yup! Her eyes showed how serious she was, wonder what made her so sure I'm in love, I mean I've been feeling this way for like...ever since I go back to corona and she literally figured that out in a 15 minutes rant? It's clear she gives my thoughts more attention than I do.

Though I haven't seen her since morning, cause well, she had to go to the dark kingdom with fitsherbert, it's great though, the castle's short of one insanely irritating jerk of a captain now. And since this freaking rain doesn't seem to stop anytime soon I can't train, and I don't have anything better to do right now, so I decided to write down my thoughts that had been haunting me for like ever, on a mere scrap of paper and try to make some sence out of my head...oh who am I kidding? Nothing's ever made sence...not since...him!

It all began when I came back to corona and was given the tour by the screwed captain himself. Raps if you ever read it, don't ever let eugine give newbies castle tour, he'll doom them. Trust me!

He led me to varian's room when he was supposed to show me my room. I still owe that jerk a blow on the head for doing that. My first time meeting Varian in like...7 years and our interaction was more awkward than anything, wait till you get back fitsherbert.

I mean I can't blame Varian for reacting the way he did when he saw me sleeping on his bed, I'd be shocked too. Infact I'd use that person as my sparing dummy if I were in varian's place, but he simply woke me up and told me I was in his room.

I couldn't recognise him at first, because of how long it had been and how much he had grown. I'd be lying if I said he hadn't changed, the kid I pictured him as and still do, has grown into an adult and not just by age but physically too. He used to be shorter, skinnier and much younger looking, not to mention the goatee outlining his face...it suits him.

I mean he has a face for goatee, not everyone has that feature, sorry cheekbones but you should really reconsider having a goatee, it's just makes you look more ridiculous than you already are, and that's saying something. I mean you bragging about your stupid goatee doesn't make it any more bearable. Man! Just thinking about his face is making me nauseous, so gross.