Badly Written Cliche Fanfiction (Parody)

Grand Theft Auto

Me and Pete were eating pizza in the cafeteria and moaning about Mr Gaskarth. I had never felt happier. "This pizza is so nice Pete," I said, savouring my 19th pizza slice. "And Mr Gayscarf is such a idiot, seriously, he should be sacked. Then arrested. Then deported. Then sent to prison. Then fined. Then executed. Then sent to hell. Then-" I saw Pete gazing into my eyes. "What is it Petey?" I asked.

"I ovrherd Mr Gayscarf readin out ur poem/descripton fing, Patrik," pete said quietly. "An I just wonted u 2 no that, um..." He shifted uncormfortably. "Mah luv 4 u is sooo big it fills da whole of da really really really really big bag, an we dont need no bacterium 2 liv on cuz I luv u so much all physical and emotinal probs dont matta no more," he said loudly, announcing it to the whole cafeteria. "U r mah 1 an only, an I wanna b wiv u 5eva," he exclaimed.

I gasped. "Ditto Petey, ditto," I replied, falling into his outstretched arms.

The whole cafeteria burst into applause. Happily, they yelled "PETERICK, PETERICK, PETERICK!" Over and over again, and soon we were crowd surfing, and were the most popular guys in the whole school. Brendon Urine shouted "DUMB EMO LOSER FIGS!" But his negative attitude and homophobia were quickly squashed by the tolerance and positivity angels who had taken over the school. Then he confessed his undying love for Ryan the emo kid. Meanwhile, even the teachers were cheering us, well, all except one...............

"I heard what those stupid emus said about me," snarled Mr Gaskarth, lurking in the shadows. "And they will PAY......"

*at the end of the day*

"C u tmoz bæ," laughed Pete as we exited school.

"Bye!" I smiled cheerfully. Pete waved and wandered onto the road.

I could hear the sound of a car approaching. "PETEY STOP!" I screamed. But it was too late.

The car sped round the corner, knocking Pete to the ground. His happy face quickly turned to one of sheer terror as he fell, and the big black car crunched over him, leaving his mangled body on the road. "NO! PETE WHYYYYYYYYY DID YOU CROOOSSSSSSSSS?! WHYYYYYYY?!" I shouted, then I realised the car looked oddly familiar. It came to a halt as I went to have a closer look at it.

Suddenly, the window winded down, and I was staring into the triumphant face of..... Mr Gaskarth !!!!!!!!!!! I gasped and staggered back. An evil grin twisted across Mr Gaskarth's face. "That'll teach you to mess with the Gaskarthonator," he he hissed, and smiled manically. The car zoomed off, leaving me staring in pain at Petes broken body stretched across the road.