The Questions and Statements
➢ Believing homosexuality is sinful is hateful to gay people.
➣ Why do Christians not simply accept that they are homophobic?
➢ Being against gay marriage is discriminatory and homophobic.
➣ Not allowing homosexuals to adopt is homophobic.
The Answer
Christian opposition to homosexual acts is often misunderstood as hatred, yet faith distinguishes between the sinner and the sin. Homophobia may refer to fear, disgust, or hatred of LGBT+ persons. Christians reject the latter, as Scripture calls us to love our neighbours. We separate the person from the action. The apostle Paul clarifies, "Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (1 Cor. 6:9-10). Hatred for a person is never justified; only sin is condemned. Christians are called to "speak the truth in love" (Eph. 4:15) and to "love your neighbour as yourself" (Matt. 22:39).
Marriage, in Christianity, is a sacrament ordained by God, uniting a husband and wife as one flesh (Gen. 2:18, 24). Christ affirms this, stating, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?" (Matt. 19:4-5). I am personally of the opinion that the government should only handle civil unions and should not regulate or validate marriages, which are sacred, divine unions. Civil authorities may legislate legal protections, yet the sacrament of marriage remains the domain of God and His Church. Entering marriage outside this framework diminishes its spiritual efficacy. As Scripture warns, "Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit" (Zec. 4:6) is true union achieved.
Adoption is another point of contention. Catholic Social Services, affirmed in Philadelphia vs Catholic Social Services, and similar Orthodox agencies, prioritise children's wellbeing. Scripture instructs, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it" (Prov. 22:6). Children thrive in stable environments, with a mother and father fulfilling complementary roles. Fathers influence children's academic achievement, school readiness, math and verbal skills, emotional security, self-esteem, social competence, and behavioural stability (Institute for Research on Poverty, 2021). Children of involved fathers are also more likely to become engaged parents themselves. Positive father involvement is crucial for both sons and daughters, reducing psychological challenges and fostering healthier development (Rosenburg & Wilcox, 2006).
Mothers are naturally nurturers, developing the "maternal brain" that responds to the needs of the child (National Institutes of Health, 2015). Mothers guide children socially, emotionally, cognitively, and spiritually. Fathers, on the other hand, often engage in more physical and challenging play, encouraging children to explore, take risks, overcome obstacles, and act independently (Institute for Research on Poverty, 2021). Fathers who co-parent effectively with mothers support their children's academic and social development, while children in intact families show fewer behavioural and achievement problems compared with those in fragmented family structures (Institute for Research on Poverty, 2021). These complementary parental roles reflect God's design for family life and contribute to the holistic flourishing of children.
Christian agencies therefore prioritise placements that reflect these truths. Ensuring children are raised in nurturing, spiritually guided households is not a matter of homophobia, but of prudence and responsibility. Science, Scripture, and tradition converge in demonstrating that children benefit from both maternal and paternal involvement, each fulfilling distinct and God-given functions.
Christians are called to act in love and to speak the truth with gentleness. The Lord reminds us, "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven" (Matt. 5:16), and, "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God, and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God" (1 Jn. 4:7). Opposition to same-sex marriage or adoption is an affirmation of divine order and care for the vulnerable, not hatred of individuals.
References
Institute for Research on Poverty. (2021). Involved fathers play an important role in children's lives. University of Wisconsin. Retrieved October 4, 2025, from https://www.irp.wisc.edu/resource/involved-fathers-play-an-important-role-in-childrens-lives
National Institute of Health. (2015, July 28). Women's, men's brains respond differently to hungry infant's cries. National Institutes of Health. Retrieved January 4, 2022, from https://www.nichd.nih.gov/newsroom/resources/links/050613-infant-cries-transcript
Rosenburg, J., & Wilcox, W. B. (2006). The importance of fathers in the healthy development of children. Retrieved January 3, 2022, from https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubpdfs/fatherhood.pdf
Giolla, E. M., & Kajonius, P. J. (2018, September 11). Sex differences in personality are larger in gender equal countries: Replicating and extending a surprising finding. Wiley Online Library. Retrieved January 3, 2022, from https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1002/ijop.12529
Kaufman, S. B. (2019, December 12). Taking sex differences in personality seriously. Scientific American Blog Network. Retrieved January 3, 2022, from https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/taking-sex-differences-in-personality-seriously/
Ngun, T. C., Ghahramani, N., Sánchez, F. J., Bocklandt, S., & Vilain, E. (2011, April). The genetics of sex differences in brain and behavior. Frontiers in Neuroendocrinology. Retrieved January 3, 2022, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3030621
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LGBT+ and the Church
SpiritualThis book will be addressing the LGBT+ issues and the Church. The primary chapters will discuss God's design, the sin and reasoning, and more, and will eventually begin going into a question series. In the question segment, it will address questions...
