Pleasure And Payne: My Boss The Dom! [Niam Mpreg Story]

ISSUES

This isn't an update I know I'm sorry I jut feel like saying this. This is about what's going on in my life what I feel inside, what I have been feeling for a while now.

For the past few months I haven't been feeling like myself lately, it all started in November when I last talked to my ex-best friend she was mad at me because I didn't go trick or treating with her (I had to volunteer at the library on Halloween) it was going to be my first time but my mom was worried if something bad happened to me so I didn't go, I texted her about it and she was upset about that and didn't text me after that. when it came to November my other friend said she wanted to talk to me about something, so when I got there and she saw me gave me the finger and glared at me, I tried to explain everything to her but she didn't understand or even get it so she said "I don't want to be friends with Sarah anymore" then left I felt like crap after that conversation. We haven't talked to each other since then only seeing each other in the hall avoiding eye contact.

I have been through hell by her when our friendship ended again! I keep thinking about ways apologizing to her about the Halloween thing but I've been scared what she'll say to me and I feel like crying, she gets mad at every little thing people say to her and takes it seriously, she's bossy to me (which I didn't notice until last year when I was in grade ten) I held in so much anger which I don't really like by that, now here's what the most thing that caught me off guard she wants me to give her $350 because of something I did, the $300 for accidentally wrecking her tablet and the $50 for the Halloween make up she got me.

Things have changed between us here is what has changed; for me I have my old friends back, she got new friends and I believe she replaced me with one, I'm starting to feel less happy, she got even happier, I got my hair done, she got her braces off, I got into the production (the Addams Family musical which is now done), she got a boyfriend, me well let's just say I'll never get a boyfriend in my entire life, she got hamsters, I keep feeling less happy, she seems to have the time of her life, I feel like doing something to myself, she has Anime, I have One Direction, there is more but it's hard to remember.

I used to be happy and care free but since then I feel like I lost my real self, I feel like no one cares about my feelings at all, all I want to do is crawl into a corner and die from all of this. I'm not a cutter but I have stabbed myself with a pencil before (I don't bleed from it) and I slowly start to feel myself going into depression by thinking about me and my ex best friend who made my life hell. After finishing the production I started to think about it and the more sadder I become, it's making me feel I'm unworthy to become friends with her again if that will ever happen again.

Sometimes I think she's making me feel I can't have anything that she has, for example; she has a boyfriend and she's shoving it into my face because I don't have one and maybe never will. I do have friends who help me out but sometimes they just aren't the ones who understand how I feel. The only people who understand my feelings is my mom and sister who knows what I'm going through.

I'm very sorry you had to read that I just had to get it off my chest so I can feel a little bit better, next chapter will be up I don't know when I'm starting to get writers block so it may take a bit of time.

I hope you guys have a fun spring break, bye my awesome Pikachu's.