HIIIIIIII ITS ANOTEHR EXCITING NIGHT TO WRITE A MESSAGE TO YOU AND YOU SLEPT VERY EARLY UWU IM ALSO VERY TIRED BUT IM NOT GONNA SLEEP YET AND I ALSO DID A VIDEO LOL. NOT SLEEPING YET CUZ I WANT TO WRITE THIS MESSAGES FOR UR BIRTHDAY UWUWUWUWUWU. HOW ARE YOU MOMMY? HAVE U EATEN? HOWS YOUR FAMILY? EVERYTHING GOOD BRO? I HOPE TO GET ANSWERS SOON. SO TODAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IM SORRY I FIFNT PLAY WITH YOU, I HAD TO DO A 5 MINUTE SPEECH AND STUFF IT WAS VERY STRESSFUL AND VERY IRRITATING BUT THATS OK AS LONG As I GET TO PLAY WITH YOU AND I GET TO HEAR YOUR VOICE OMG. EVERYDAY FEELS LIKE A DREAM BC UR IN MY LIFE AND SOMEHOW U FIND A WAY TO ALWAYS MAKE MY DAY BETTER BRO. I LOVE YOU BRO I HOPE I GET TO CREATE MORE MEMORIES WITH YOU. YOU STILL HAVE TO PICK THE MATCHING PFP THO i really like the nezeko one bro it looks VERY CUTE BUT IDK BOUT U SO ILL LET U PICK. YA. i ALSO CANCELLED THE TRADE WITH THE PERSON BC FIRST OF ALL, hes diamond 2 and it would be stresful to derank, he has less gun skins which is not good and he doesnt have op ski :( but he does have my fav melee which is celestial fan but WHATEVER I WANT TO STAY WITH THIS ACC THAT ALR HAS A FULL INVEN AND I CAN PLAY COM)P WITH YOU UWU. I ALSO WISH TO KNOW WHAT UR SIR READ WHEN HE SAW WHATS BEEN MAKING U IRRITATED AND STRESSFUL FOR THE PAST 2 WEEKS. let me know pls uwu. I ALSO WANT TO KNOW MORE RANTS BRO I RLLY WANT TO FIX MYSELF AND KNOW WHAT U FELT. do let me know yes GETS OK GOOD. so today i guess ill talk about whats been going on my mind? I STILL DONT KNOW IF IM THE BEST FOR YOU theres plenty more goodlooking and more of a better person than me bro IDK i just feel like im so worthless compared to everyone in my surroundings LATELY. Remember when i said i wasnt jealous anymore? WELL I WAS KINDA A BIT. everytime i- IDK I DONT WANNA BE A GATEKEEPER OR CREEPY OR WEIRD OR ANYTHING BUT i just feel like you'd sound happier if i was ZAYN OR RYU BC THEYRE SO MUCH BETTER YK AND I KNow U ALWAYS SAY "ill choose u over them" I STILl Dont know about that bro. IT MAkeS me sCARED If its ever gonna change yk. I MEAN DONT GET ME WRONG I WOULD BE HAPPY FOR YOU IF YOU EVER GET INTO A NEW RELATIONSHIP AND I WOULD ALSO BE HAPPY IG FOR THE BOY (or girl) BECAUSE WHATEVER HE/SHE DID WOULD DEFINETLEY BE SOMETHING BETTER THAT I COUDLNT DO AND THATS WHY U CHOSE THEM AND i would understand and wouldnt complain bro. you really do deserve better than me its just confusing on how u havent lose feelings for me yet??? i mean like u only have seen the photos i sent you which are the good ones that i kept in my gallery, you havent seen me irl or seen my worst pictures and IT hURRTS to think it this way. You dont know how insecure i am about every features i have, my eyes, my nose, my acne?, the way i smile, the way i laughed, my hairstyle, my hairline???, the way i talked, the way my eyes are literally so fucking FS FUEFBEFBSAIDBIBIFBE. i dont know bro maybe im just overthinking but im JUST SO SORRY FOR the way i treated u and if im not goodlooking, I CANT control it. i want to give you all of me but if im honest, all of me is rlly just nothing yk. you will recieve these messages soon and idk how to act after that bro. WELL I DO HOPE You recieve these unless im dead??. its fun to fantasize about you meeting me irl bro. im just imagining me arriving at philipines when im 18 or older and youre waiting for me and we finally met irl and i hugged you and started crying??? that was a dream of mine lol. Even if im dead before we met, i just wish my final words to you were something nice or something sweet. i wonder how happens after im dead yk? like i imagine u being happily living your life not talking to me bc maybe u find me annoying? the real reason why i introduced ryu to my online friends is that he could tell you and othe others if im dead or not instead of just seeing me offline. i really love to sleep bc everytime i sleep nowadays its mostly a dream about you As youre reading this, IDK if i should be happy that these messages reached to you or i should be happy that u know the truth? or i should act the same and lie everytime. i keep lying to you sometimes, i always ask "RU OK" and i continue on to saying "YA WBU" "YESSSSS" "YEHA WBU" "IM REALLY GOOD WBU". i just dont to ignore all of my feelings and have fun with you bro. my feelings is sometimes u-related and its in a bad way of how i see AND THATS WHY I wanna ignore it. i just dont wanna face the truth that I hate myself for looking the way i am and feel like you would be so much better if i was someone else. I PROMISE I DONT WANNA LIE BUT I CANT. i dont wanna ruin your day too. its so tempting to say "NO IM NOT OK BRO IM JUST HAVING SOME BAD THOUGHTS" but no uwu. i dont want to express my feelings to you bc i know you would probs stopped talking to ryu and zayn which i dont want to happen. i also can fix this myself as its my emotions and ig i know how to control. ITs really a pain for me to know that you'll know the truth soon and i cant act the way i do anymore. sometimes if im honest and i mean really really really honest, OMFG FINE IM GONNA BE REAL FUCKING HONEST. EVERYTIME I LOG IN VALORANT AND I SEE U IN PARTY WITH ONE OF MY FRIENDS I JUST FEEL LIKE CLOSING MY LAPTOP AND GO TO SLEEP CUz thats so much better than have a jealousy feeling for a 1-10 second. i DONT EVEN knoW if what were talking is normal maybe we just say mommy, daddy, uwu, hi, hello, bro? and need heal?. I MEAN IT IS NORMAL but i just FEEL LIke u talk more normally to my other friends WHICH IS TOTALLY GOOD WITH ME AND IM HAPPY FOR THAT bUT YK HOW MY EMOTIONS ARE MIXED RIGHT? yeah Im sorry for this message about ranting??? THSI WAS SUPPOSE TO BE YOUR BIRTHDAY GIFT AND ITS SUPPOSE TO BE HAPPY BUT IM JUST REALLY SORRY MY BIRTHDAY GIFT FOR YOU IS HONESTY AND MY TRUE EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS. I FEEL LIKE ITS BEST FOR ME TO DELETE ALL OF THIS AND JUST ACT DUMB AND JUST TRY TO FIX MY EMOTIONS AND BE HAPPY TK, DONT GET ME WRONG IM TRULY NATURALLY HAPPY EVERYDAY WHEN IM WITH YOU, TALK TO YOU, listen to your voice, playing with you, but just past 12am i just start to feel this hatred towards myself. im sorry. I DONT WANAN WRITE ANYTHING MORE IT WOULD BE TOO LONG UWU. thats all from me karylle for tonight. thank youfor loving me. i love you karylle, i also appreciate VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY APPRECIATE u for changing ur schedule just to be alone with me??? goodnight i love you sleep well sweet dreams and stay healthy bro (mommy) <3
Thurday, !4th October, 2021
started : 12:33am
ended: 1:25am
