Goodmorning karylle, so in this message im writing while not focusing in class, im currently in science class and grades are not very well but thats fine. As we both know, last night we had a thing going on and i want to explain into detail about it. its currently 8:141 a.m. i'm sorry if i reply to you late because im writing this. Honestly, i also cried myself to sleep most of the nights i stayed here but i tend to hold it and just cry in silent, do you know the feeling where u hold your tears until your neck hurts? thats what happening most of the nights. i cry myself to sleep because i always think youre playing with someone else or just talking to another boy because i know how perfect and pretty you are and im just a typical boring asian boy whos stupidly inlove with you. Every night, the plushie is named Joy as you know and i always sleep with it as its my comforting plushie and the only thing that reminds me of you in my dorm. The thought of you messaging other boys and talking behind my back? "omg i wish i could break up with him hes so ugly LOL", "DUDE LOOK AT THIS CRINGEY PICTURE LMFAOOO", "BRO MY BF IS SO DRY 💀💀", "HEY DUDE WANNA PLAY VALORANT", "ITS OKAY, HE WOULDNT MIND IF WE DATED, PLUS HES IN SCHOOL SO HE WOULDNTA KNOW THAT MUCH LOL" (my thoughts of how u message other boys). Theres honestly plenty of more but love is hard karylle, we both have issues right now and from what ive read yours is worst so I'm truly apologise for being a bad boyfriend. The reason why i wrote a short paragraph to naomi apologising for ryus action is because she needed it instantly, all these times i was writing a very very long paragraph for you and im planning to give it when i get home but now you know i'll give it when i give my gifts. Ryu quitted valorant, so please play with me alone, face time me, voice call me, screenshot our face together. No, this is not the furst time i want to be alone with you but you know how youre with your friends and sometimes with my friends. ive always wanted to play with you alone but my friends are sometimes very annoying but i just cant find the urge to say no. I know you've done alot for me and im grateful for that karylle. Yes, i lied. I only lied when i saw u playing with my friends though. i know you waited for me, you changed your schedule, you cancelled plans, you lost friends because of me and i truly apologise for my behavior. I just cant bare to see the person i love and is my girlfriend with my friends playing alone together laughing, screaming, happy while i just stay in the lobby waiting for you guys to finish in custom, i thought u guys played custom because i was afk and waited for me but when i joined you guys didnt leave so i guess i wasnt planned to be invited. I dont want to be friends with naomi, i only want to know her as "Karylle's friend". I really love our relationship because we understand eachother and we can work things out and cooperate with one another. Btw about the lie, yes i did lied as i said in this message but please understand me, how can i not leave when i hear you guys being happy with one another? maybe even happier when im not there? I'm sorry my jelousy feeling is just too bad in the past. You can scream karylle, scream with whoever you want like with whoever you want where its my friends or not please scream with me because i dont want iur relationship to be quiete. I know im always the shy one but i think its time that i finally talk to you normally but you have to reply to me too, i cant talk to you while youre using chat. I love you karylle and i hope you know that. When i come back home, ill be playing on my own since you, ryu are quitting valorant. Karylle you have my words, Valorant wont be the only place ill speak. It's good that ur taking a break from something thats breaking you. I'm sorry if im the reason that you want to suicide. know that if you suicided, i won't be the same happy boy i used to be. Knowing that my girlfriend is far away from me and had eventually killed herself will truly hurt me. If you suicided, we didnt even get to meet and hug eachother. If you suicided, can you imagine the pain you'll give me? as in right now we're sharing our pain with one another and were both are hurting right now but please im begging you do not have any thoughts of suicide or suicide itself. I hope you know how much i wish i could go to you and just give you a hug, youre honestly my reason to live so please let me be the reason for you to live too. You promised me didnt you? that u you wont try any attempts or anything right? so please keep a promise only this one. You can cheat on me, like another boy, hurt me, break up with me, hate me, whatever you fucking want but please keep me a promise that you wont try to suicide. The trauma that i will go through knowing that my girlfriend suicided? i would never recover from that tragedy. Youre not worthless karylle, youre worth more than this earth, worth more than me, worth more than everyone. To me, youre the prettiest, smartest, most perfect, goodlooking, funniest, entertaining, caring, nicest, shortest, the person that made my day the best, the person that made me went from a Horror movie on TV to a happy ending princess. I know that my words could hurt you sometimes but understand me, i dont have any intentions to hurt you, i really truly love you. and i wish to make more memories with you too. you are my home, my happiness, my joy, you are my love, you are my first girlfriend and also my first love, you are everything to me, no one will ever replace you. There is no sighting of a break up karylle, i love you forever. You were a fantastic, magnificent, stunning girlfriend, You did the unexpected (in a good way) while im the bad boyfriend who always does less than ur expectations, ill try harder for you karylle. Dont worry, i wont find someone better, i wont get close with any of your friends, i wont break up with you, i hope we can love eachother more and more and one day we'll both be happy with eachother. Im sorry i hurted you last night. I know people can be hard sometimes, you tried your best to help them and then they gave a negative comeback, It's okay thats life. You dont have to change as in youre already perfect karylle. Just try your best to avoid people like those okay? dont force urself to comfort people when ur not in the mood. I'm never mad at you karylle, how can i be mad at a cute midget like you, please say more and tell me whats on your mind. If im the person who comforts you then i will also make you the person who will comfort me, lets try to tell eachother the truths and rant to one another, we can share our problems and be closer together ❤️. I forgive you karylle, i always forgive you for every times you have hurted me? (hurt in a good way). Can i ask you a favor? the day i comeback, please play wth me, and facetime me. I miss you so much karylle i just cant. I want to hear your voice and see you smile with my own eyes. The fact that were both starving ourselves is also hurting me, both of us karylle, me and you are not eating full meals a day to the point where you had to go to a hospital and this is just because were both not happy with our body? i think we both should stop this. i promise ill eat if you eat. Can we please stop this suffering? Thank you karylle for choosing me, for giving me a chance to experience what being in a relationship feels like, thank you for being with me, thank you for existing, thank you for meeting me, im so fucking grateful ure mine, im happy youre my girlfriend, thank you for everything that uve done for me, thank you karylle for being the reason for me to live, thank you karylle for being nice to me, thank you for treating me right, Thank you. For me. the truth is yes i dont want you to find anyone better than me, more handsome, better voice, any of the things that i cant do but who am i to control ur life? I dont want to be a controlling boyfriend eventho i already have permission for you, its your life so you decide. You can find someone else or someone better, i felt that before as ryu also has abandoned me in the past but came back because his new friends were dumb and losers and made fun of ryu, ive experienced it so i know what will happen. You have my words, sure it will hurt for me but if the person is better than me, its the best option for you. I know that youre taking s break from discord so i want you to have fun with your family and please fix your mental issues and ill fix mine too. i kneow you have family problems and i hope i can help to fix that? im sorry for everything i have done to you. I lovr you for who you are and you dont have to change for people karylle. Do know i changed for the best, i changed so that you wont be embarrassed to call me your boyfriend. you were good and still are. Im grateful and happy to say that Karylle Joy Servida Laudato is my loving girlfriend. I wish to hear more from you, know that you words dont offend me whatsoever. I hope we can last long and make more memories together 💞. My thoughts were like bullets when the time u said you wished u were dead. I can help you i promise karylle i can try, ill try my best to guide you and i can help myself along. we can be happy together one day and let all of these problems slit. I would honestly die for you. Lets both try to be hcareful nest with one eachother okay? no secrets in between i hope. currently 10:02 a.m i havent replied to your message omg, OMG THERE WAS SO MANY TEACHERS ASKING ME STAND UP AND ANSWER THE QUESTION AND THANK GOD I GOT ALL CORRECT. I really love you karylle and i hope you know that, i also unfriended alot of girls, i ditched plans with my friends and i sometimes cancel plans with my family for you but thats kinda rare. i hope you know that i also do things for you, i know its not much but pls understand me yes. I love you Karylle mwa <3 hope to see you seen and hear your voice baby. Thank you for letting us fixing this and understanding each other babe 💗💗💖💖💖. OMG I CANT WAIT TO FACETIME U AND HEAR UR VOICE FOR ONCE IN A LONG TIME OMG mommy karylle <3
6th December, 2021
started: 8:10
ended: 10:20
