IT'S FUNNY HOW a lesson can only be learned through series of pain. It's funny na kailangan mo pa makaramdam ng sobrang sakit para matutunan ang isang bagay. Hindi ba p'wede na katulad na lang ng mga lesson sa school na malalaman kapag itinuro sa iyo? Hindi ba p'wede na kapag nabasa mo ito sa isa sa mga textbooks ay matutunan mo na ito? Bella kept asking herself why she had to go through this pain just to learn and experience what love is.
Sa mga nakalipas na araw ay hindi pumasok si Bella sa eskwelahan. She wasn't also talking to everyone, not even her family who was so worried about her dahil sa biglaan nitong pagtahimik. She can still remember how she went home with tears falling into her cheeks, and how her Mom hugged her the moment she saw her, asking her what happened.
"'Ma, p'wede bang hindi na ako muna pumasok this week?" She remembered asking her Mom amidst their hugging. "Nakakapagod lang kasi sa school. Tingin ko . . . Kailangan ko lang ng pahinga." Pahinga sa lahat.
Her mother didn't ask her what the problem was, which Bella was grateful for. Siguro ganoon talaga ang mga magulang, na hindi mo na kailangan pang sabihin sa kanila ang problema dahil sila mismo, nararamdaman nila ito, and being the loving parents that they are . . . Hindi ka nila kukulitin o tatanungin pa kung ayaw mo itong sabihin sa kanila.
It's Saturday today and she was on the bus on the way to Baguio once again, looking at the scenery on the window beside her. This time, mag-isa lang ito, walang dala-dala kahit ano---kahit na ang cellphone nito na pinatay niya dahil sa dami ng texts na mula kay Raymond at Chase ay hindi nito dinala. She didn't need those kinds of distractions because what she needed right now is to think and find herself, and the only way to find herself is to go by herself.
Speaking of Raymond and Chase, both of them are trying to talk to her during the past few days, pero ni isa ay wala siyang kinausap. Tuwing after class ay nagpupunta si Raymond sa bahay ni Bella habang si Chase naman ay tuwing gabi. Her family was kind enough to her to not let them enter the house. "Kailangan niya ng pahinga at oras para sa sarili niya," was what they always say. Eventually, they stopped. Hindi na rin magtataka si Bella kung sinabi na ni Reese kay Raymond ang panloloko na ginawa ni Bella sa kanya.
All she wanted was love. Simula pa noong bata siya, iyon lang ang gusto niya. A simple, romantic, sweet, and pure love. Pero ngayon niya na-realize na hindi pala ganoon kadali iyon. To love someone was never easy. Yes, it could bring you extreme amount of joy that you cannot buy or exchange with anything that you have, a love that can give you a feeling of euphoria, but it was never as easy as just loving someone. Nandyan kasi ang complications. Nandyan ang buhay na sasampal sa iyo at unti-unting babago at sisira ng pagmamahal na gusto mo. In order to love, you should be strong.
Iyon ang hindi nagawa ni Bella. Masyado siyang nagmadali sa pagmamahal kaya naman nang dumating ito ay kaagad niya itong tinanggap nang hindi niya inihahanda ang sarili sa sakit at hirap na maaari niyang maramdaman.
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IT WAS FOUR o'clock in the afternoon noong makabalik si Bella sa subdivision nila. Sa halip na sumakay ng tricycle ay naglakad na lang ito patungong bahay, hoping that even if just for a minute or two, ma-extend ang pag-iisip-isip niya.
When she reached the park inside the Sta. Maria Village, she sat at one of the benches there at pinagmasdan niya ang mga puno sa paligid niya. The leaves were falling from the ground and she couldn't help but feel sad dahil nakaka-relate siya sa mga puno na ito. Like the leaves falling from the trees, simula noong sinubukan niya magmahal---mula kay Nico hanggang kay Chase---unti-unting nagshe-shred rin ang pagkatao niya. Nawawala na ang totoong siya at nagbabago. The old Bella who was so optimistic when it comes to life, who knows how to smile through the problems and pain was now gone. She didn't realize that not until now. Yes, love taught her many lessons, pero kapalit noon ay ang inner child niya. Ang dati niyang pagkatao.
BINABASA MO ANG
The Girl Who Cheated
Historia Corta"If loving you means defying the rules, I would be willing to break them just to be with you." Ever since she was a kid, Bella had always been fascinated with romantic love. For her, having someone to love is the best gift that a person can receive...
