A Christmas Kaworu

Chapt 1

Scrooge is in his room. He is sad and angry and not happy because he is rich. Fitzgerald comes in and says, "dude stop being depressioned you have everything stop being a miser." Scrooge says no and almost breaks his anchient neck shaking his head.

'Wow this is gonna be harder then I thought' says Fitzgerald ascending through the ceiling in a capitalist manner. Scrooge goes downstairs and bullies Bob Caliente who is a very nice guy and has a family and is poor. Bob Caliente cries because he is in debt.

It is Christmas Eve and the snow is cold and dead because of Scrooge and his demonic imagery. He hears a knock at his door he opens to see his old work partner who is dead Mori. Everyone's cries because Mori should have stayed invisible and intangible. "Who tf are u wait r u my partner Mori" Mori nods and then rings a bell of sin.

"I have a cool belt as you can tell but it drags me down and you will suffer this fate too unless you stop being annoying" then Mori blew up and everyone was happy.

Except Scrooge.

Scrooge slept and went to sleep. In the morning when he woke up he saw a kid with white? Grey? Hair? Hair and red eyes floating at the end of his bed. He had a very chaotic aura surrounding him, and appears to be holding a strangled cat. Scrooge stared in horror and manga Kaworu stared back. "I just put him out of his misery, no worries," Kaworu smiled. "What the fuck," said Scrooge.

Manga Kaworu said, "I am the Kaworu of Christmas past." Manga Kaworu picked up Scrooge and held him out the window; Scrooge screamed in terror and confusion. Manga Kaworu drops Scrooge and saves him before he hits the ground. Scrooge realised that children are demons, not angels. Instead of being dropped again, he blew up, which teleported him into the past. Scrooge looked on in pain as he saw his young self wearing earphones and crying int he dark, being a SHINNIE...

"See that," manga Kaworu exclaimed, "this is where you started to go wrong with your life. The only one that can be a Shinnie is my boyfriend." Scrooge fell on his face in front of his younger self, nearly crashing into the intangible table.

Atsushi ran away from his problems.

Next Scrooge was teleported to his old employer, Joe and his boyfriend Cherry. They made skateboards in the 1800's and shoved spaghetti on them for the aesthetic. Don't ask how Scrooge became a finance person when he clearly had a better future paved out for him in the spaghetti skateboard business. They were holding a party. For reasons. Scrooge shivered at the sight of himself with no money, but at least he had skateboard spaghetti. Misato danced drunkenly across the floor, as Kaji and Ritsuko simultaneously simped for her, as everyone should, because Misato is hot beer woman and cool.

Manga Kaworu danced to Ode to Joy in the background while staring into Scrooge's soul. "You are a fool Scrooge," Kaworu shoved him onto the dance floor menacingly. Scrooge reflected on his life and hated it.

Then scrooge fell down the stairs which teleported him into the next failing of life. It was back in the day when he was not as poor and had some money. He was on a wall with his wife of 10 years Dio Brando. 'You are too much of a shinnie and you never shut up about money. I have someone better then you. Someone who does not s(h)in, the local preist." Manga kaworu nodded gravely, shedding a tear as Dio walked off with the preist, Enrico Pucci, into the sunset.

Scrooge's less dusty self sobbed, drying his eyes with shillings. Scrooge's present being stared in pain. "Personally, I much prefer your wife and the preist together but oh well let's fix this I guess." Said kaworu from the 1999 hit manga neon genesis Evangelion. Scrooge cried.

Then suddenly he was in his bed. "Wow I'm glad I'm away from that demonic child who kept showing me how I failed as a human being." Dazai agreed. "I feel you man." Then Scrooge went to the window to gaze upon the disgusting peasants and their horrifying happy faces. Then, he saw a child with purple gray hair? hair who locked shockingly similar to his worst nightmare.

"Hello"

"No fuck this I'm not doing again. PISS OFF." The child stated at him disgracefully. "You are not worthy of my grace, it means I dislike you, but I was paid quite a bit to be here." Scrooge cried again, his shinnie tendencies shining through.

"I am the kaworu of Christmas Present also known as Anime Kaworu. I will show u how u fail as a human being in the present." Dazai said from the corner "RELATABLE." Then, Anime Kaworu teleported infront of Scrooge and slapped him. Then he slapped him again. Scrooge fell through the floor and when he opened his eyes, he smelt something terrible.

It was the smell of the Lower class mixed with the smell of Shinji Ikari. All but Anime Kaworu gagged.