Andy & His Half Clogged Brain

12

Past

I knock on the door but Sofia who's on the other side doesn't get up to open it . She's been inside for four days now and I'm started to get worried.

"Sofia ,I'm leaving for work . If you open you're door you'll find a cup of tea outside , I hope its still hot by the time you have it and I have covered it for good measure, just in case. The tray also has the phone number slip, I think its time to call the doctor so please come out and have something now".

Nothing happens, if I didn't know better I would have thought I was going crazy for talking to a door. Suddenly the house walls have become paper thin as it feels like cold can just seep through it. But at the same time I feel they have converted into iron walls making it impossible to come through . I had taken leave for the past three days, I was at work when this happened.

"Andy , Mr. Gomani's on the phone". David brings me the phone and I hand him the papers to recheck the amount on the paper and with the person to be the same. I walk into the empty road in the early morning afraid of someone hearing us, I clear my voice before answering

"Hello Mr. Gomani"

"Yes. Has my package arrived?"

"Its safe and sound. Right now we are rechecking the amount"

"You need to keep it safe just for another four months. Once the investigation has been completed ,I'll immediately send someone to get my package back"

"Sir this place is like you're very own house and I'll guard it with at most safety". He gives me a caution of

"Don't let any one else know about it , you never know who's attitude changes when the bright shine of diamonds gets reflected in their eyes". I wished to tell him that theres just another guy but think better of it and keep it to my self. I cut the call and pay the guy who delivered it, his delivery charges. He counts his money and leaves, me and David alone. Both of us enter the club and head for my office.

We were at this hour when driving back to the house that to for a few minutes then coming back here felt like a nuisance that we didnt want to entertain right now.

Before entering my office I tell David to wait outside while I put the diamonds into the vault. David hands me the small pouch and waits outside while I close the door on his face. The vault is kind of built in my desk with an extra outer covering of the wooden desk. If a third person sees it, to them it may appear as a same old desk but its when you pull on the wooden knob you'll be able to see the iron steal vault inside. I punch in the code and put the pouch inside , closing its shaft after. David comes in after I call him out.

"Listen Gomani isn't aware that you know about the diamonds. Try to keep the information just to yourself" .

"Sure".

********

I'm in a meeting working on changing the look of the pub when I receive a call and leave the place in a rush , without glancing at all the curious stares I was receiving for the panic state I had changed into, I hail a cab to my destination.

I don't know which room to enter, so I ask a nurse who had been passing by for directions . Following her told route I enter a private room where I see a sleeping Sofia . Her wrist is connected to an IV . She seems to be in a deep sleep probably because of the medication so I walk towards the only other room I know of in the hospital.

Sympathy shines from the doctors eyes when she talks to me, she then proceeds to tell me that chances of a miscarriage at this stage is not quite frequent but also not impossible. Sofia had called the reception asking for an ambulance . As soon as it had arrived they got a report of her laying in our bathroom in her own pool of blood. Nothing was comprehensible to me at this moment.

"But she was quite healthy, this kinds of doesn't add up". Zoe gets up from her chair to come and sit beside me on the chair which was adjacent to mine. She puts her hand on my shoulder in an attempt to calm me

"Such experiences are heartbreaking Andy. You're hurt and confused theirs also someone else whose going through the same thing so let you're emotions over power you now so that you can totally be there for her. She'll need you more than you'll even need yourself".

Then in that office I let myself feel everything I had restricted myself from feeling. The tiny flicker of happiness I had so constantly tried to diminish thinking it had bound me in ways to a woman who was better as a stranger than a companion. But part of me was not only the biological father but also a human being. Seeing a godly miracle happen would often catch my attention, the growing belly making me wonder. You little champion had already become the cause of all the astonishment around, I knew once you were in my arms I would love you, cherish you. Even when I would be dying all I would think about is you. But you're gone, saying dead feels to real so I wont use that word at all. Though my arms are empty by heart is still full of you and for you.

********

Zoe breaks me from my thought train when she enters again, she had left me alone for the time being. She informs me that Sofia has woken up and I should be the first one to talk to her.

I knock on the door before opening it. Sofia's in a hospital gown, she was put in the delivery room and taken care of. So for the time being she has to endure being surrounded by baby posters. But I don't think she hardly cares as her gaze , which isn't fixed anywhere seems to be in a trance like state. I sit and align my self in-front of her so that all her gaze can see now is me. I take her face in my hand , which feels dry and rough maybe because of her earlier or recent crying. My touch lets her know of another presence in the room. We just keep staring at each other without saying anything, trying to understand and communicate to one another.

"Its gone", she says. After a minute or so she tells me to

"Say something".

"Its going to be alright". Maybe this was not what she wanted to hear as she removes my hands and starts to cry. Her cries becoming louder with every second, the drop of tears were now a flowing stream . Through the bawling sounds she says

"I want it back". She then starts to get up as if she would walk upto the doors of heaven to get it back. I quickly move over her, tightening my hold over her.

"Stop it Sofia ,its dead". There it is, I used that word. Sofia does stop thrashing and goes still not before whispering to me

"You're dead". She falls back on the bed and smiles through the sadness.

*********

Back in the office , condolences are sent my way. All of a sudden neighbors are super friendly to me and are inviting me and Sofia to outings and dinners with them. Its a small town and stories spread faster than fire. Right now we are the most known couple because of Sofia. They come to me and talk about spending time with Sofia and understand when I turn them down. Suddenly all males around me have become advisers ,telling me things and stuff I can and should do. Sofia doesnt come out of her room. I have been leaving meals in-front of the bedroom and have made the living room couch as my bed.

Three days absence and it doesn't look as if its about to clash. People gaze at me as I enter , David is the first one to come and straight away hug me after which a crowd of people follow. Minutes after when I find myself alone in my office with account files than needed to be checked. But before commencing work I open the vault and poke my hand in it. The first thing which I take out is the pouch which I open to recheck its content and second is a brown envelope. I brought it here to keep it safe and someplace where I can marvel at it alone. The envelope isn't glued .I hold it up so that the pictures can slide out. Its an ultrasound of the baby. A total of three pictures is all I have to remind me of its existence. I lock the vault and put the envelope aside on my desk to take it home. It doesn't have to stay at a dusty place any longer.