The Blades

Chapter Twenty

March 5th in the 1st year of the 17th Ultimatum

A little less than five months later, Eravith was in an all-out war. It was a stalemate between both armies with equal losses on both sides. Prince Jayr was crowned King two months ago and is in command of his army, led by Alekai himself. Sygnet continued correspondence with her inside man in Dolonde from her place in Atheria and Airys and I had taken to traveling the regions to attempt to gain more support for our cause. The other assassins had continued to fight skirmishes all over Skystead and Atheria with Akinli now leading my battalion and Thälor leading Airys'.

I hadn't seen Akinli in weeks and hadn't heard from her in a while but I suspected she was too busy in the field to write me a letter every day or even every week. I understood how hard it was to be out in the field at this time.

Thälor and Kodi were spending a lot of time together. He had been having trouble with his shifting since X's death and he wasn't looking good. He was very skinny. Luckily, the nightmares had gone and no one had been attacked again which was helpful. Thälor seemed to help him a lot too, I think.

One evening, I was looking over battle plans with Airys, butting heads as we always did. "No, you can't send such a big regiment to Imyan, it's too close to Dolonde for comfort," he said. We were in this same argument, day in and day out.

"Imyan is protected by the mountain pass and they have that open field for troops to gather. We could set up command in Imyan itself." I circled the open plain with my finger and pointed to the little buildings drawn on the map beside the scripted word Imyan.

"Atla, it's too early in the war to be doing things like that. We haven't had time to regroup in Xyanmar after that last skirmish."

He was right. Last month, Tercet's battalion was ambushed as they were headed to Hirane for supplies. Only thirty survived the attack. Right before I was about to insist on doing things my way, a young Naryan soldier I recognized from my battalion entered the tent with Rosheni just behind her. The soldier was covered in blood and gashes all over her body but she seemed to be fit enough. She had clearly been through hell.

"What is it?" I directed to Rosheni, "Are you all right?" I asked the soldier.

"Ma'am, there was an attack on my scouting party," the soldier said. I could see that she was visibly shaking as Rosheni gently rubbed her shoulder. She seemed hesitant to say what she wanted to and she looked at Rosheni for help. I returned to the maps spread on the table in front of me.

"How many casualties?" I asked, not looking up at her words. I heard these same words uttered to me every day for five months. Attacks on scouting parties were nothing new.

"No one survived. But me," she said softly. I could hear the fear in her voice as it cracked and I knew she was remembering the clash of swords, the blood, and the screams of the dying.

I sighed slightly, "Thank you. Go get yourself cleaned up and eat a hot meal, you've earned it." I looked at her briefly before turning back to the table. The soldier left the tent.

"Atla?" Rosheni said, her voice delicate as she stepped forward. I saw her hands fidgeting from the corner of my eye. I saw Airys look at me from the corner of my eye, his face tightened with concern. I felt something in my chest flutter.

"Yes, Rosheni?" I asked, not looking up.

"The scouting party," her voice cracked a little as she spoke, "It was Akinli's." I heard her take an audible breath.

I didn't hear anything she said after that. My body seemed to fade away from that tent in the field. My chest was tight as I froze, leaning over the table, my eyes focused on the town of Blackwood in Skystead, where I last knew she was headed. My fingers moved of their own accord to brush over the black dot that was Blackwood. She died. My mind pictured her wounded body, covered in the red scars of blood that watered the flowers she laid on.

"Atla?" Rosheni took a few steps forward. She made to touch me but withdrew her hand, seeming to think better of it.

I broke out of my frozen state and turned to look at her. I was surprised at the voice that came out of my throat, "Thank you, Rosheni. You may go."

Airys was silent as I stood, staring at the place where Rosheni had been, the bearer of bad news for once in her life. The tent flap fluttered in the breeze. Broken. I was broken.

I came to and turned around to look at Airys, "You were saying?"

"Atla, you don't have to—"

"—Stop." my voice cracked, "Just. Stop." My throat was getting tighter the longer I looked into the face of pity that was my companion, "Let me ignore this. Please." All that came out was a whisper as Airys nodded and went back to work.

The loss of Akinli was a blow I didn't expect to take and I hated myself for imagining a world where everyone I love would survive a war. I didn't break down and cry, nor did I let myself at the small service that was held in her honor in Xyanmar, on the hill before the cliff that overlooked Atheria, a shining city of crystal. It was a beautiful day of despair. The blue ocean sparkled like sapphires next to the white city and the breeze blew my hair from my face and drying the tears that beaded in my eyes.

Naryan customs dictate that a rose was to be given to the fallen, as payment for passage. Passage to where, I didn't know but I held that rose in my hand, working up the courage to approach her closed casket with it. The rose would mean a goodbye. The last goodbye. I stepped towards the wooden box where she lay but my legs were what moved, I didn't know how, towards her, laying the red flower over where her head would have been resting and stepping back.

Then, Bayah was beside me, entwining her arm around mine, holding me as I stood before the casket, long after everyone had gone. Her warmth kept me from breaking on that clifftop. The emotions raged like a storm inside of my body but no amount of pain or hurt would release me from the way I was feeling. Looking upwards, the bright blue sky stretched between worlds and I wished for the azure field to turn black and become the storm inside me. Only then would I feel the world mourn the way I was.

Akinli's body was taken back to Summer, to be buried in the chamber where centuries of the Palace's Royal Guard was buried. Airys told me it was the highest honor.

Not even then did I cry as Bayah took her place once again at my side on the docks of Atheria as Akinli sailed away from me, the scent of roses drifting towards me on the salty air.

No, my tears fell in my darkened tent as I lay awake in the night. When I bathed in the stream half a mile from the Xyanmar camp and I would let them drip as I scrubbed the dirt from my skin, almost wishing I could wash away the ghost of her touch and the smell of roses that hadn't left me in days. But I didn't want that. Not really. To remove her from my life would be a disgrace to her memory. 

I would fight this war for her. I would win this for her.