The Storm (2)

Chapter one

 Melina's pov-

 How're you supposed to tell your loved ones you don't want to be alive anymore? 

 I don't even feel like a person anymore. I'm simply a shell of the person I used to be. 

 I'm tired of listening to everyone's problems. I love my brothers and my friends but I'm tired. I don't have the energy to deal with my own shit, let alone theirs. I know that probably makes me seem selfish but I really don't care anymore. 

 Every single fucking day, I wake up and I wish I hadn't. 

 It's easier to just lie to everyone around me, to make them think I'm better. Like my past isn't haunting my every second, of every minute, of every day. The weight of it slowly becoming too much to bear. 

 I've been more distant lately and they're starting to notice. I try and play it off and usually they buy it, but they're catching on. 

 I wanted to move out, partly because I want to live on my own. The other part is because it's easier to hide things when you aren't constantly surrounded by people. But Dean insisted that Max and I live here for a little while longer. He's trying to make up for lost time and shit. 

 I've been staring at Joey Karmo's file for the past ten minutes. Reading the same fucking sentence over and over again because I can't focus. 

 Sometimes I wonder why I even try anymore. 

" MOM?! MOMMY!" River yelled as he ran up the stairs.

 Right.... that's why. 

 I felt uncomfortable when he started calling me mom. He first did it when he was five. It was when I went to tuck him in and he said, " Night, momma. I love you." 

 I don't think he did it on purpose at first, but over time it started happening more and more. 

 My door slammed open and I slid the file under my laptop. 

 " What's up, buddy?" I asked as he rushed to my side. 

 " Look at what I drew in school today!" he shoved the drawing in my face. 

 I laughed and gently pulled the paper back, so I could actually see it. It was a drawing of Silas, Maddox, River, and I at the botanical gardens. 

 It was actually really good, especially for his age.

 " Oh my god, this is amazing! You did such a great job, buddy." I pulled him into a side hug.

 " It's for you." he flashed a toothy smile at me. 

 " Thanks." I smiled at him. 

 I got up and walked to the part of my wall where I had other drawings of his hung up. I also had awards from school and photos. 

 " It makes a great addition, you did a really good job." I ruffled his hair. 

 He hugged my waist and smiled up at me. 

 " Uncle Max is looking for you by the way." he said.

 " Do you know where he is?" I asked.

 " Nope." he said, popping the p and shaking his head no. 

 " Well let's go find him then." he let go of my waist and he took my hand in his. He started running towards the door, dragging me behind.

 Jesus, did someone give him sugar? My money is on Jax, he has a 'secret' candy stash and he likes to binge on it with River. 

 " Whoa, where're you two going?" Luca asked, stepping in front of River.

 " Max wants to talk to mom." River rushed out, bouncing up and down.