xXBlack WidowXx

-Heartbeat-

After an hour or two passed by I looked at my self in the mirror and asked myself

"What is my life"

I sigh and bring my head up, I smile in the mirror but just couldn't help but be sad, I'm not sure why I'm sad now and not when all my family drama went down, it's like it came all at once without me even thinking about it, I found my self crying without even thinking of something, the tears just rolled down slowly.

I wipe my face and rub my temples and say out-loud

"Why me"

As I finish my sentence the door had a figure appears from it, were getting it fixed while we're out so when we come back it's all good, Nat walks over the wood chips and says

"Ready to go"

I smile and stand up, I kiss her and say

"Let's go"

She grabs my hand as we walk out and says

"No motorcycle tonight"

I say

"It's ok I wasn't expecting to"

We get in the elevator and she pushes the garage floor, I turn around and let go of her hand and look at the view as we come down slowly, Nat says

"Hey you feeling ok tonight, you seem more quiet then usual"

I sigh and say

"I feel off"

She wraps her hands around me waist and says

"We can cancel dinner"

I hum in response not sure if we should or not, she un wraps her hands and puts her phone to her ear, she then says

"Hi, I would like to cancel my reservation please"

I hear mumbling on the other side, she then says

"Thank you so much, have a good night... bye"

She puts her phone back in her purse and pressed the stop button on the elevator, she then wraps her hands around me and rests her chin on my shoulder, she then says

"It's now you and me so what's wrong"

The tears built up again, but it was hard to fight them with something so soft cuddling me close and saying "what's wrong"

Another tear roles down my face my smile turns into a frown trying to hold everything in, Nat whispers so quietly and calmly

"Let go"

The tears burst out violently, I collapse to the floor crying my lungs out, I then scream in pain and hold Nat's hands as she lets me rest on her, I scream out

"WE PRETEND EVERYTHING IS- IS FINE!!!"

my voice was cracking making me sound so hurt it broke Nat's heart into pieces, she says

"What's causing this pain"

I cry more into the small space of an elevator, we then hear footsteps rushing to us, we hear

"NAT Y/N WERE GONNA GET YOU OUT!"

Nat screams back

"NO WERE FINE!"

I turn around and snuggle my head into her, she held me close as I poured my whole heart out, she kept me close and warm, I calm down catching my breath, Nat then says

"What is it"

I say trying not to break, I say

"We've been through so much in so little time and we pretend like it's not bad, I lost the man who raised me and caught me after my first steps, I can't keep all this inside me Nat, and I'm scared to let it out"

The silence ate us like jaws, it was so painful to be there but I needed to let it out at some point, my string snapped, my tears rolled back and my voice continued to ache and hurt as I let out every ounce into my yelling, Nat shushed me and rocked me in her arms keeping me safe, after 2 minutes I calmed down and sat there in the floor rocking back and forth with Nat, she then kissed my forehead and says

"Your probably exhausted, let's get you in bed ok, I'll put a movie on and eat all the junk... does that sound good?"

I nod slowly making her smile and say

"Ok we're getting up, ready"

She puts her arms under my arm pits and lifts me up like air, she walks both of us over to the panel and presses the button to continue, quickly after it dings and we see Wanda, Steve, Alina and Bucky standing there, Wanda ran up to me and hugged me hard.

The warm feeling of being loved filled through me, she says

"I'm here Y/N, I'm here"

I smile in her embrace and we pull away, Steve puts his hand on my shoulder and says

"I've got your back Y/N what ever you need"

I hug him and say

"It means a lot Steve, so thank you"

He pulls away and smiles wide at me, he says

"You better give Bucky a hug, he was a big baby"

Bucky shoves him playfully letting out a laugh from everyone, he wraps his arm around me then his cold metal arm.

Even tho he's built to kill, the brain that's working it is nothing but a teddy bear, Alina runs up to me and hugs me hard, she lets a tear drop on my shoulder and says

"I know it hurts"

She kissed my cheek and handed me back to Nat, Nat kisses me and held me close we walk to the second elevator and headed back up, I say

"Holly shit I'm a mess"

She laughs and says

"A rather cute one"

I smile and say

"You know how much I love you right"

She hugs me and says

"And even tho you'd kill multiple universes for me, I'd still love you more"

I giggle softly in her hug, the door dings and we walk back, The door was finished thankfully so we walked in and locked the door, I crashed in bed face first making Nat laugh, she then takes my shoes off and outfit off, she then helped me into clothes and tucked me in, she says

"Let me get ready ok"

I smile and nod.

I reach over to my might stand and grab the tv remote, I put on live tv and see the news, it's Yelena on a motorcycle dodging traffic, she then goes out of view of the helicopter, I yell out

"NAT COME QUICK"

She bursts through the door and says

"ARE YOU OK WHAT'S WRONG"

I point to the tv, she then says

"CAN SHE LAY LOW FOR ONE FUCKING DAY!"

( I know I know a sad chapter, but I had to make it realistic, nothing's perfect guys, BUT THE SEX WE GONNA HAVE WILL BE, all our crying made us a mess, a horny mess that Nat needs to CLEAN UP! Hope you enjoyed and I'll post more instead of once a week, no promises if I miss a week cause SCHOOLS A BITCH!)