From Silver and Chaos

Bitter-Sweet.

Chapter Four: Bitter-Sweet.

My memories had done him no justice.

That beautiful smiling face was the same one I had said 'goodnight' to in the cold halls of Dratlan all those months ago. Ignorant to the knowledge that I would never see him again.

Until now.

I sucked in a ragged breath. Kendon.

Kendon mirrored me, a slender hand pressing to his chest. There was a shadow on his throat, the column darkened by ash and plated skin, but that was his face.

"Kendon." I repeated the name, unfamiliar with the weight of it on my tongue. I had gotten too used to swallowing it down these past few months. It looped in my mind. My Kendon. My Kendon. Here.

There was silence after that. I could only stare, teeth gritted as heat swamped my face. Tears burned in the back of my eyes. Each breath was warped, caught in a throat of broken glass. Kendon. I scoured his face, taking in every familiar feature. The dimples. The high arch of those pale brows. He waited for me, patient but I could see the grief marked in the down-turn of his mouth.

I risked a step forward, terrified that it would shatter the image in front of me. That I would wake, alone, in the dark. Looking for faces that I was beginning to forget.

Another step, with the weight of grieving, guilty months on my shoulders. "Kendon?"

His voice was thick. "It is me, my friend. I am here."

My hand jerked Heslan's knife back into it's hilt. Kendon caught the movement, falling silent. I swallowed the lump in my throat. "If you are some kind of trick, don't think that you will get any mercy for this cruelty."

Those crystalline eyes shone. "These months have not been kind to you."

"I am alive." I retorted quickly.

His lips twitched and he took me in, his expression soft. I just watched him, tense and waiting for this to fall apart. I didn't dare let the hope rise, remembering how Vanya's reappearance had shattered me. If Kendon...if he...I didn't know what I would do. "That must be you, Avi. Only you would say that to a dead soul."

I winced. Tactless.

The cold night wind drew across my shoulders and I shivered, taunt and wary. Kendon cupped his hands together, bowed lips uttering a quiet cast. Fire danced along his slender fingers, settling back under his skin. I knew his hands would be warm then – how often had he warmed me in Dratlan? He flashed me another smile and I caught sight of the dimple on his left cheek – a deep groove into his face. Kendon. "Don't tell the Mentors."

My rough breathing broke into a sob. I shattered the distance between us and hit into him, banding my arms around him tightly. He caught me, a warm hand cupping the back of my head as I tucked my face into the curve of his neck. I held him fiercely, fingers curling in the fabric of his clothes. He felt warm. He felt alive. I held him tighter again.

"I missed you," I sobbed into his shoulder. "So so much."

"I've missed you too." He murmured, clutching me to him. His shoulders shuddered and he held me tighter.

The guilt rose too soon and I unlaced my arms to step back. He let me go, eyes creased as he watched me wipe the tears from my cheeks. When my hands lowered, he took my hands in his, his skin burning too hot to be natural. I swallowed. "I can't think of an apology that will make up for what happens, but please – Kendon. I – I should have been by your side. We had always promised each other that we would watch our backs but when you needed me, I wasn't there."