The Songwriter's Funeral Song

VI. Melancholic Clowns Hide Under Their Makeup

The Songwriter's Funeral Song
Melancholic Clowns Hide Under Their Makeup

Upbeat songs require a lot of time for contemplation rather than those blue ones. It's harder, because I'm faking my emotions. I can see myself as a frowning clown but has a smiling makeup on.

Smile

"Turn your frown upside down"
Easy for them to say, but sadness can't just go away.
"It's okay to be sad, we're human.
We can't be always glad, it's normal."

We all cry in pain...
Have sleepless nights, trying to think the world in vain,
Hiding it in the shade of the rain
Can't even truly smile, lips are in strain.

It's okay... let it go.
Don't force a smile, let sadness show,
Because it doesn't mean we're weak.
It's normal, we don't have to mimic.

If you let them free,
"Sad" turns to "happy"
Making sigh a sound of relief,
Building new dreams and belief.

After you let it go, please smile
Smiles can reach to a hundred miles
It's like a virus that can make others catch it
Try it... it's legit!

I wish you to have a great day
And hoping that stress won't catch you today
For your good health, I will pray
And keep those negativities away

Here, pretend that I have a camera
I will focus it to you, little fella
So that, you won't frown
But if you do, I'll snap it not just once!

Just kidding!
I'll be sending you high fives~ Don't leave me hanging!

"It's so weird, Yuru," Mugi laughed.

"Rainbows and sunshine don't fit you," she added.

"I know," I sighed. I thought she's happy with this new song. She's grooving with the melodies a while ago.

She came in the apartment with the band to visit me. Panda and Kumo were on the music room to rehearse the music sheet I have given them. Mugi was just here to talk with me.

I was wiping my guitar with a damp cloth when she caught my attention.

"Hey, Kumori."

I raised my brow for an effortless, "what was it?"

"Will you write a song for me?"

"Yeah, sure. What is it about?"

"Ah, I want it to be romantic."

It's a new appeal that my ears won't like to hear. It's astonishing, honestly.

"Wait... romantic? For you? With whom?" I am confused all of a sudden, or did I just mishear the "melancholic" with "romantic?"

"Did I surprise you?" she asked while smiling amusedly.

"Well, yeah... you told me that you're not interested with romantic stuffs."

"I'm sorry for demanding this topic for no time, but will you really do it for me?"

I rested my hand and gazed to nowhere-ness before I replied, "I can write... but romantic ones? I don't know."

"Don't worry. I'll help you. Try these lines." She started to speak rhyming words, and I can see that she's well-determined.

"I want a clear sky but then, you came.
I thought it'll be different, I expected rain.
You gave me shed from the sun's radiance,
And showed me that birds know how to dance."

It was good, but I can't feel any emotion from it. Maybe, I just can't reflect. I also noticed something in her stanza. There's a subject behind it... a cloud as I suppose.

"You meant "cloud" here, right?" I asked her, and she said, "Yes."

I chuckled as I identified who was this cloud. "It was Kumo, right?"

She widened her eyes and bellowed as if I'm deaf, "Juices cries! What a genius, Yuru! I knew you'll find out!"

"Ah, yeah. I'm a genius." I accepted the compliment even if I'm feeling weirded about what I have known today. The hint was clear just like the cloud she's talking about.

I remained silent for seconds, and she have noticed it. I just don't know what to say and what to react. Maybe, I should ask her about how did it start?

It's no surprise anyways. I do the poker face all day. But at this moment, Mugi should see me smiling.

"Does it give you pressure?" she asked, now walking towards me, trying to examine my face as if I'm sick or what.

"No," I awkwardly laughed, "I'm just... it's just... weird? And I guess, it's a big change since I haven't seen you going out with people."

She made a laugh as well, but it's just as gentle as the autumn air. "Yuru, you sounded like my Mom, and that's pretty cute. You're worried about me, huh?"

"Well, so-so... but I have known Kumo. He's a good guy, and he'll never hurt you."

She had given me a wide smile, and I gave a little return.

"You're like my sister. So, I'll do what makes you happy," I said, not even sure if I can write one.

○●○●

"Yuru, haven't you heard?" Riri caught my attention as she cooks dinner while I'm trying to contemplate the song for Mugi, and it's ugly easy since I can't relate from it. Ah, it makes me sick.

"Of what?" I replied a query.

"The 10 missing persons who attended your concert have been found," she answered.

"That's good then," I commented, but I didn't notice that she's happy about it.

"No, it's not, since they're dead." She caught me in horror after revealing it. But what she said next, peeled my skin to dread. "They've been found hanged dead in an under constructed building. The ten people were facing each other, being in a circular state. The investigators said that it was a group suicide. They're still looking for possible reasons of their self-killing. And by the way, they found an MP3 player with your albums there."

"And it's me who was dissed again?"

She didn't make a noise but continued on chopping carrots.

"Hey, Riri." I called her attention because she's not still responding. It was about 10 seconds when she remained silent.

"Ahh, fudge!" she cried in a supressed manner as I noticed her in pain. I walked towards her to see what happened.

"What's wrong?" I asked her, but she seemed to move away and hid her hand.

"Blood! Don't look!" she warned. I stepped away after I heard her warning. I went back to my meditating spot and continued on observing Riri. She washed her hand, and I saw her blood running with the water. I looked away, since seeing blood makes me feel unwell.

"I told you not to look. Now, look at you. You look pale."

Ah, the word "look" seems ironic now. Riri examined my face with her brows creased. She moved my head angle by angle while keeping her left hand out of my sight.

"Drink your calming pill."

I nodded, and she walked back to the kitchen. "Yeah, you're dissed about what happened. But this time, I'm not convinced that their death was because of suicide. I have a strong feeling that they were murdered... and that murderer was just actually here in this apartment."

I tried to guess of whom she was talking about, until I realized whom it was.

●○ 葬儀の歌 ○●