The Songwriter’s Funeral Song
Threnody
A clap, a stomp, a yell that goes like “hey!” It was a lively first song of mine. So lively that the arena seems to jump with the thumps and noises. The bassist of the band was not Mugi. I understand. I understand it all—the setups seem so odd that everything was planned. Or it’s just me who could feel that something will happen today. I assume. I expect that something will happen. But this Mugi—I can see her with the crowd, stomping, clapping, and yelling “hey!” But why so? Will she shoot me in just a blink of an eye? In what way would she kill me? And when? I’m getting anxious.
Why won’t a sad song have this loud rhythm?
When we have to say, “Hey! It’s gonna be okay!”
We should be letting out all the grey
Letting tears fall day by day hey!
When it should be a ballad but we say “hey!”
Cheering the blue, putting the clouds away
Rather than weep we should sing a song and pray
But what is prayer if we have no faith? Hey!
My eyes were pinned on her. I’m guarding her every move. Her stomps, claps, and yells seem to show no harm. But if I would move my sight to Mom, would she do something to catch her attention?
“You rock, Ms. Yuru!” a girl yelled with her hands encircling her mouth. I forgot that I invited Miyo with her mom and friend. If I had known earlier that Mugi was going to kill me here, I should have not invited them. I wouldn’t like them to see me die in murder.
It’s the same situation with Mom. I sent her a letter, on the same day as I did to Miyo. I’m not expecting her to come, but if she would, I would show her to Miyako. Unfortunately, the plan has changed, and soon she’ll see me die in front of her—in front of a lot of people. It’s an ill-fated way to die. After that, I’m no more conscious of Mugi’s plan. Perhaps, the two will live happily ever after?
The grassland to where I stepped my foot on,
Stares at the blue sky with clouds in slow motion
As grass rustled, they started to make a composition
Having a lovely melody with lyrics just to ponder upon
Like a light that touches the earth every morning
A warmth filling my heart, waking my soul, painting my skin
Love from my special someone, my beloved, my kin
Cradling me at peace, I can feel them caring
Louder did the orchestra make the hymn
The thumps of my heart joined the thrilling rhythm
A sudden beam from the sky pointed at a woman
Highlighting me in the center of the grassland
My loose white clothes danced with the wind
Closing my eyes, feeling the in and out of the scene
As the music made its instrumental before ending,
Birds have flown, scattering above the green
This is the scenery I see when I can breathe clearly
Hums of relief, this moment cradles me
I found the place, I found someone
I can rest now; I can keep myself calm
“What was that recent song suppose to mean?” Mugi asked. I was at the back of the stage, taking a 10-minute break when she approached me. “A funeral song?”
“No,” I answered. She handed me a bottled drink—mineral water. The cap was still intact on its security ring which indicates that the bottle has not yet opened. I looked at her before I took a gulp. “Will you do it now?”
“Not yet. I prefer a not-so-obvious plan. You haven’t known my tactics yet,” she replied in full confidence. I just shrugged and drank half of the water.
“Are you sure that you’re being careful?” I asked and put the bottle aside. “The first time I met you in the street, I thought that you were a different person. But you’re just the same Miyako I know hiding in a different face. You took me into your apartment which is so strange for a stranger to do. You showed me your scar on your belly, telling me that it was you, Miyako. I rolled the curtain across, but I would like to examine your scar even more. I’m concerned at all. But you drag me into situations where I get lost. I get lost in your plans. You showed me that you’re in control, and I understood that you’re doing those things for your satisfaction. Are you satisfied? You used Yoshi to make a show. You killed him for a nonsense act of yours. And those victims you killed... Who are they? Are they tokens to show your triumphs? Is this the empathy you’d like me to have? I don’t feel you at all… since then and now. You just wasted your time being as Mugi.”
“But you like the show, right? Because you didn’t do anything,” she said. I smiled at her and made a reply, “I didn’t do anything because it’s not me who should watch the show. It’s for you to check your own work. Maybe, you’re the one who needs to understand yourself. You still have to see me die after all.”
“Are you afraid to die?”
“No… I just don’t know where I’ll go.”
“Cloudee? It’s time to go back. Are you ready?” The staff already signaled. This conversation might be my last with her. But at least, before my last, I should let her know that I played well with her.
“You prepared well last night. I’m wondering how much thallium would kill me.” I smiled at her as I walk back to the stage. My death count has started a minute ago, and all I have to do next is wait.
“This next song that I’ll perform is dedicated to Miyako and to all of you. But most importantly, to me… my funeral song,” I said before performing. I made a bow because I might not make it later. Then the instruments started to play. If this was indeed my last, I should give it all.
Threnody
My ears are having trouble hearing the composition of life
What kind of song did I hear when I was born?
I’m imprudent, fragile, and dependent
Please guide me, I can’t sing along
Years passed, and I have adored some sort of music
But I hated the constant birthday lyric
Nothing is changing, but my age
I want something that can only be heard once
I never wanted lullaby songs
But if it’ll put me to sleep forever, sing me one
Make my distressed soul lull in serenity
Before I go, before this old soil embraces my cold body
I’m getting halfway through the song, and I’m starting to breathe with trouble. I can’t press the strings on the frets flawlessly, and my whole body felt like burning. But despite that, I did my best to continue the performance.
Fantasies stay being a fantasy
People write them to escape reality
Because reality has never been lovely
We just get used to it, we sigh, we calm our mentality
But since, I’m stepping on my final sequence
I’ll be reincarnated as ashes like the earth itself, the living earth
I’ll be singing with the first taken essences
We’ll shout, “Please save us! Please put us in the heavens!”
A yawn to death,
Hold my last breath
Like hapless theft
We lived, then left
I think I’m liking now the cradling songs
Just a few minutes now, I’ll be sleeping for so long
I’m being favorable of this unending slumber
Please embrace my cold body, I’ll be going now, farewell
“I made it through,” I said to myself. But after the sound of the instruments disappeared into the thin air, my knees dropped to the ground and my whole body followed. All of my muscles seemed to be stretched until they were torn. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t see clearly. My mouth began to bubble. That’s when all the things around me shut off.
●○ 葬儀の歌 ○●
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The Songwriter's Funeral Song
Misteri / ThrillerLife, Music Death, Music ○●○● Yuru, the street performer who made it to the top, made a dramatic fall. Something was embedded in her song... the lyrics, the melodies... they were beautiful thunders banging the drums of your ears... Something that'll...
