I never asked for this

chapter 53

*third person pov*

The brunette bounced her knee nervously as she sat in the backseat of the mans car,she was offered to sit in the front however sitting in the back made her feel safer;Nat and Wanda made her feel safer.

She stared out of the window at a place that she barely recognised anymore.

"Is this your stop?" Cassidys brother who'd she learnt was named Alex asked her slightly concerned,Nadia nodded her head "mhm" she said.

This wasn't her actual stop but she knew that if somehow Nat and Wanda found out she had entered this car from street cameras then they'd be able to know that it stopped here when it dropped her off hence why she didn't say her actual stop.

From the amount of times she'd been to the place she was going she already knew a way to get there through an alleyway where there wouldn't be street cameras.

She had already thought this through,couldn't be too careful.

"This is my number if you need anything and I mean anything" Cassidy told her handing her a slip of paper which Nadia took staring at the number.

The woman felt grateful to the girl,she might not have been impressed with what she had been told but it was better to know than to live never knowing what had happened to her beloved partner.

Before she left she made sure to thank her "thank you for everything,I don't know how I'll ever repay you" Cassidy said just as Nadia was about to open the car-door.

"You don't know how much I need to repay you,not the other way around you're the reason I finally pushed myself to do what I did so call us even" she said and left the car leaving Cassidy and Alex confused as she walked away.

Immediately she put her hood up and began walking.

This was the first time that her freedom was really beginning to sink in,she was a mature adult again now and was allowed to do anything.

Maybe she had zoned out or maybe the walk was shorter than she remembered but she was at her destination in practically no time.

As she walked into the place a sick feeling entered the pit of her stomach,this place had given her nothing except miserable memories however it was her only option right now and she was desperate;she brushed the feeling off and walked up the stairs.

When she went to the door and knocked a part of her hoped that she had moved.

A couple of minutes had passed since she'd knocked so she thought her suspicions were true until she heard that familiar voice she'd missed and feared.

She flinched hearing it "who's there?" the voice called from the other side.

"Nadia" she simply replied "Nadia as in-" the voice started "your sister" the girl finished the statement for her,in a matter of seconds she heard Lexi unlocking the door.

When the door was opened she was brought into a tight hug "oh my god Nadia! I thought you were dead" she said embracing her sister tightly.

Nadia merely nodded "I know I know" she mumbled back.

Lexi finally pulled away and brushed her hand across Nadia's cheek,still doubting whether the girl wasn't actually real or if her eyes were playing tricks on her.

Her hands were placed on the girls shoulders "I swear to god if you ever do that again" her sister said "mom and dad have missed you so much- wait we need to call mom and dad!" she said getting her phone out.

The girl grabbed the phone out of Lexi's hand "don't call mom and dad,it's too complicated right now" she said vaguely.

In response she received a nod and a second later Lexi invited her inside the apartment,it was definitely cleaner since the last time she had seen it which she hoped meant that Lexi had gotten better since her last relapse...

To be honest it was a shock to her that Lexi wasn't in rehab.

"You have to tell me everything about what's happened to you in the past couple of months,how did you even manage to fake your death?!" the older girl questioned followed by a series of more questions,Nadia shook her head to it all.

She was exhausted and didn't want to talk about this stuff right "we can talk about it all tomorrow,can I sleep in your spare bedroom tonight?" she asked.

Lexi nodded "I'm so sorry I've just missed you so much" Lexi told her chuckling awkwardly "it's okay and I promise we'll talk tomorrow" the girl promised.

When she was walking towards the room her sister called out.

"I think I have some of your pyjamas in one of my bedroom draws,mom and dad let me take anything from your stuff and I missed you so..." she said slightly embarrassed,it made Nadia feel slightly better knowing at least her sister missed her.

True to Lexi's words she had managed to find some of her old pyjamas.

Putting on her pyjamas really made her feel like her old self again,she discarded Natasha's hoodie on the floor along with Wanda's sweatpants.

She had thrown them in the corner not even wanting to see them as it made her feel guilty and reminded her of the women she'd left behind,she looked at herself in the mirror and smiled;she didn't look like the little girl she had been made to play...

On cue Lexi came and knocked on the door "come in" Nadia called and her sister stepped in the room with some stuff in her hands "this is all yours" she said.

The things were placed down "since you're back you'll be needing it all now" Lexi said happily more talking to herself than Nadia,she wished the girl goodnight and left the room leaving Nadia in the peace she so desperately wanted.

Looking through the things she recognised some of it as things she left at her sisters and some things from her old place however she was glad she had it.

Deciding it was time to sleep she grabbed the stuff and placed it on the dresser.

Sleeping wasn't as easy as she thought it would be,she was awake for a while just staring at the ceiling wishing sleep would overcome her at any second and for a brief second she considered putting on Natasha's hoodie to calm her.

In the end she had decided against it and eventually fell asleep.

Whilst she was asleep she had unknowingly began sucking her thumb,she had gotten so used to sucking a pacifier in her sleep so it felt weird without one.

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Authors note

Song suggestion: Lolita by Lana Del Rey

THIS SONG, Lolita is one of the best Lana songs in my opinion, based on the novel of course but ugh. For my girlies with daddy issues, and now they kinda find DILF's hot.