I never asked for this

chapter 44

*Nadia's pov*

For the next few hours I mostly just watched tv with the exception of when I had to eat dinner,I watched tv with my head laid on Wanda's lap as she played with my hair,;not being around the pair for the past couple of days left a clingy feeling inside of me once I returned.

We ate dinner shortly after Jaxx left and it was nice being 'home' or whatever I could call this place,all I know is that eating with them and laughing along with them was something I missed a lot.

Spending time away was nice but so was returning 'home'.

Now all the bad thoughts were coming back into my head and they almost felt like poison for my mind,the past couple of hours had been a nice distraction for my head.

Was I a weak person for accepting this all? I sure did look like one:the pigtails,pacifier and childish clothes did nothing to agree with the fact I was strong or anything,they merely did the opposite.

I know that if somehow anybody from my normal life saw me they'd be horrified.

Previously I had always been the person who stayed up all night studying just so I could get an A on some meaningless test and I was a person who pushed herself to the limits so she could get some stupid validation off people who cared more about grades than a person.

Now I was some 'little girl' who spent her time colouring and sucking on pacifiers.

Overall I now wasn't the type of person anyone would be proud of,everything I did was so childish I wanted to contribute to society not burden it.

How could Natasha and Wanda even love me when I did nothing except bother them?

"Nadia you okay?" Wanda asked presumably noticing the fact that I zoned out because I stopped sucking on the pacifier "bad thoughts" I mumbled not knowing how else to really sum everything up in a few words.

"Wanna tell me about what's going on in your pretty head" She questioned continuing to play with my hair "do you think I'm pathetic? Don't lie to me"

She gave me a confused look "no Nadia why would I think you're pathetic? You're amazing and spectacular" she stated "because I'm a failure,I do nothing except act like a stupid child" I say immediately regretting my words as they left my mouth.

Instead of getting mad like I expected she pressed her lips together.

"Well you're not pathetic nor a failure" she told me "and how do you know that?" I sarcastically asked "everyone loves you Nadia,you could light up on an entire room just by smiling and that's something not everyone can do" Wanda informed "that doesn't mean anything" I mumbled in response.

"If you are really such a failure then why do me and Natasha find out something new about you everyday that we are completely and utterly mesmerised by?" She said.

I sat up removing my head from her lap and placed it on my knees.

"I know nothing has been easy for you Nadia and you should be proud of yourself,a lot of people would've crumbled under these circumstances but after everything you still haven't lost your passion or that spark in your eyes" she explained.

A sigh escaped my lips,she didn't understand at all "you're biased you're my mama so of course you're gonna think that" I said in full honesty.

"Doesn't mean that I don't know how great you are,you can even ask mommy and she'd say the same exact thing without missing a beat;you're one of the strongest people we've ever met and everyday we're so proud to be able to say you're our little girl" she argued back calmly offering me a smile.