On This Roller Coaster That We Call Life-z.j.m [[discontinued]]

Chapter 39

Deeandra's POV

“Would you wanna talk about something to distract you?” Zayn asked. His hand rubbing small circles into my back, soothing me into his palm more. He relaxed me so much. I did wanna talk to him. I felt like I could tell him anything and trust that he’ll keep it to himself. I shook my head no and played with the ends of my hair. Zayn sat himself up and rubbed my back even more. His voice was husky due to his low talking. “You can talk to me about anything. You know that, darling.” I nodded a bit and continued to play with my hair. Why does Zayn think that all is forgiven? It’s not. He cheated on me last night. He hurt me. He did the one thing he promised he’d never do. “Please talk to me, I wanna help.” He spoke softly, rubbing my back even more. He moved himself closer to me and moved his hand to my shoulder, rubbing tenderly. I jerked my shoulder away dramatically. I didn’t see his reaction to it. I stared at the wall ahead of me blankly, trying my hardest not to cry.

“Dee…” Zayn tenderly touched my shoulder. I moved my shoulder away. “You should go check up on the power or something.” I didn’t intend for that to come out so harshly but it did. I continued to stare at the wall, waiting for the only body to be left in my bed mine. I felt Zayn slowly sit up. He sighed a sad sigh as he got off the bed. I heard light foot steps. They were killing me. I finally heard the door shut lightly, my eyes super glued to the wall. God, why did I send him away? I needed him here. I’m terrified of this weather and being in his arms was such a great help. I sighed in frustration and fell back onto the bed. I stared at the ceiling. Up at the ceiling fan to be more specific. Maybe the quick spinning wheels will put me to sleep. Probably not. I wanted Zayn here. I needed him here. I brought my phone up to my face and unlocked it. I used a picture of me and Zayn as my screen saver. I was kissing his cheek and he was smiling beautifully. As my screen saver came into view, I smiled. I stared at his perfect face. “I love him..” I said out loud. I’m not gonna lie to myself anymore. I love him. I love Zayn so much. I sighed just as another loud crash of thunder happened. I bit on my lip to hold back my tears and hid under the covers. These covers were my fort, I swear. I put my head phones into my ears and put my music on shuffle. I’ll listen to anything to drown out the sound of this weather and of my heart breaking more and more.