Everything Is Blue

Chapter 10

 'Patient needs an oesophagectomy to avoid the cancer from spreading to the rest of the stomach or other organs. Risks involved are bleeding, leaking of fluids into the stomach, clots, and infection.'

The soft voice faded, signaling an end to the audio.

Kimbra stopped the tape, and pressed another button. The tape player whirred softly as it rewound the tape inside. This was the seventh time she listened to her mother's old medical tapes. Hearing her voice again made life bearable for the time being. That's how it's always been.

Stranded in my own little world.

She really wanted her mom right now. Just a small hug and to be told everything would be okay. A small scent of her lavender perfume or the soft feel of her white fur. Or that loving smile she'd always give to her children. Just something.

Every so often it would come back. A memory. Sometimes a good memory. Sometimes a not so pleasant one. But a memory.

The hardest thing about dying is having to break the news to someone. It was all too much information to take on at once. Lucille Wulfe knew that all too well when she had to tell her youngest child and only daughter that she was sick.

For years as a child, Kimbra had watched her mother lose who she was as the disease took its fatal course. Countless doctor appointments. The agonizing symptoms that tortured Lucille every day. Having to retire from her career as a surgeon. She was losing it all.

The two had finally come to terms that this was their lives.

Those days, Kimbra hung around Lucille constantly. Hardly ever leaving the room until her father ushered her out, so the older woman could rest.

One day, Lucille noticed this. "Kimbra, my love... why don't you go play with your friends?"

The preteen only responded by burying her face against the older woman. She wanted to stay in bed with her today. Her friends could wait.

A few months, the doctor said. That's how much time Lucille had left. Her Huntington's had progressed, and not even the medication could delay the inevitable. There just wasn't much else to do.

It was only getting worse.

Time was a funny thing. Usually, little Kimbra wanted time to hurry. So, she could run out of school and trek through the snow with her friends. For her birthday to edge closer, so she can stuff her face with cake and hopefully get whatever she was bugging her parents to buy her that year. Wishing time would hurry to when her crush and best friend, Derek Gage, would finally ask her out.

Yet now, Kimbra wanted time to slow to a halt. She wanted more time.

"I'd rather lay here with you..."

"Is it because you overheard Dr. Henley last night?"

Kimbra kept quiet, burying her face further into her mother. Yes, she had heard the somber news.

"I just don't want you to miss out on life." Lucille said sadly as she stroked her daughter's face.

Nothing mattered anymore. Not to Kimbra as her mother was dying. She didn't want to go out and play. She wanted to avoid missing out on time with the person who mattered most to her. That would have felt too much like saying goodbye.

Why does she have to be the one to go through this? It just wasn't fair.

"Do you see the lights up there?" Lucille pointed out the window to the night sky.