merder smut

insecure derek

This is a very long chapter

Third person pov

          It had been weeks since derek and mer had done, well sexual intimacy. One of the reasons was because derek was beginning-to feel more and more insecure about his body, due to the scar that the depressed physco shooter guy left on his chest. So due to Gary Clark, he had been avoiding Mer for a good amount of time.

          One day when Mer was at work, Derek had taken the day off due to him having a headache or something but he didn't, he just wasn't ready to take off his shirt in front of the other attendings. So he had been calling off sick for a few days.

He had just woken up from a nap, and it was about five, he knew mer wouldn't be home for about a solid 45 minutes. So he walked up to the bathroom, took off his shirt, looked up into the mirror, and traced his scar with his finger. His eyes fill with tears at the thought of the scar never going away. I mean Derek Shepherd was never insecure in any way, hence why is name is 'Mcdreamy', but now he had something to be insecure about and he hated it. He hated it so fucking much.

    He was distracted by trying not to unleash the tears that he hadn't seen Mer leaning against the wall watching him. He looked over at her with his eyes still full of tears, "Hey." He said softly, but his voice cracking, which made her heart shatter.

   She never wanted him to feel insecure in anyway. She loved him with her whole heart, so when he said that her heart broke. It fucking broke. "Hi." she said while walking over to him, bringing her arms around his whole body, giving him a bear hug while he let out a shaky breath against her neck. "Derek." she said after the period of silence. "Yes?" He tried to say softly, but you could hear the vulnerability in his voice. "Why? Look you are amazing in my eyes. Whenever i see you looking in the mirror with that scar, it- it makes me remember that you survived. You survived. That scar isn't a scar of failure, it's a scar that showed you that you survived him. That's what matters, okay?"
He looked up at her and nodded, " Yeah, okay."
      She smiled and softly placed a kiss on his lips. He smiled into the kiss while he let it get a little heated.

      After about five minutes of making out, he pulls away and frantically pulls her shirt over her head wanting to see her body so badly. "Wait, wait. Are you sure?" She asks wanting to make sure he's comfortable and wants this.

     He smiles and says " I want this." She smiles while he moves down to her leggings, pulling them off, tossing them somewhere not really caring at the time, they'll find them in the morning. "Jump." He says as he moves his lips down to her neck. She moans softly at that little action while she jumps. He catches her, wrapping her legs around him.

          He leads them towards the bed without taking his lips off of her. He throws her off the bed, takes off his pants, and jumps to hover over her. She flips them and starts kissing down his chest until she is met with his scar. She looks up at him and see's him staring at the wall. "Hey, look at me derek." He looks over at her while she kisses down his scar while maintaining eye contact with him. When she is done she moves up to his dace and kisses him on the lips and whispers "Tell me if you want me to stop." He nods while she goes back down to his boxers, takes the rim of them and pulls them off to see his full erect cock. She looks up at him to see him frantically nodding his head wanting her to just go down on him already. She miles slightly then looks down at his erect member that is only getting harder by the second. She pumps him a few times then slowly takes him into her mouth. His eyes immediately roll back into his head while he allows his head to drop back onto the pillow remembering all the amazing things Meredith's mouth has done to him. "Fuck." He groans which makes her wetter by the second. She starts moving faster and faster, sending
him over the edge in no time. "M-mer, I- i'm close. Holy s-shit. FUCK!" he screams as he releases his load into her mouth. She drinks it all up not leaving anything left. She kisses back up his chest, going to straddle his hips while he desperately tries to catch his breath.

         His cock is hard in a matter of seconds of from his first orgasm. She grabs his member and slowly slides onto. While doing so he tries to lift his head up but once he feels her warm welcoming walls his head immediately drops back again. " My god." He groans out. She starts bouncing feeling herself coming close to the edge in matter of seconds when he placed his hands on her hips with a deadly grip, starting to pound into her. " DEREK!" she starts screaming but what got her was when he stuck his finger inside of her warm walls, moved his finger up forward letting it rest on the front of her walls, finding her g-spot and rubbing until he felt it form into a marble sized ball. He kept rubbing which sent her soaring over the edge. "H-HOLY SHIT! WHAT IS THAT, W- WHAT! OH MY GOD! BABY YOU FEEL AMAZING!" she screams throughout her orgasm, forcing her walls to clamp down on his pulsating cock. Forcing him to release inside of her. " MY FUCK. JESUS MEREDITH!" he yells while he releases his load into her. One they both get their breathing to normal, he pulls out of her and brings her onto her chest.

        They lay in a comfortable silence until she breaks it. "If you're ever feeling insecure, and i mean ever in anyway. You come find me, because i will be there to remind you your worth and your beauty. Okay?" She says looking up to him. He nods and whispers out an "Okay." They spend the next few hours cuddling. Derek knew that meredith was feeling very tired from working her shift but also from their activity earlier. " Goodnight Meredith. I love you more than human kind." He whispers into here ear and leans down to plant one on her lips but not before she says " I love you more than that." He smiles softly and kisses her before letting sleep overtake them both.

IDK WHAT THIS IS 🤪🤪